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TUNGSTEN LYRICS
"74 LXXIV" (1995)
1. Dead to me
2. There is pain in knowing
3. Something somewhere else
4. A view from the outside
5. Killing off a part of me
6. Rootless
7. Nothing left
8. A
9. New minority
10. Waiting to be full again
11. O
1. Dead to me
I don’t want to know your new last name!
I just wear the pain the same
I’ve stayed ignorant to your new world
My curiosity has been soiled.
I can close the casket now
I know it never, never, never could have been
Every day I dressed in black
Since our funeral, I haven’t looked back
‘Cause you’re dead to me.
2. There is pain in knowing
It’s been 25 years since you’ve walked this planet
Only memories of your fragile smile
Mother’s tears can’t bring you back
My sister, that I never met...
There is pain in knowing
What you could’ve been
Never a chance to talk
Never it comes again
There is pain in knowing
What you could’ve been
There is pain in knowing
What we could’ve shared
It was torn away
Before your time to bloom
Weak is my faith
The future is ...lost!
Tears now echo your mausoleum
Mother sweeps it as if it were your room
Mother’s frantic knocking can’t wake you up
I realize now, that you are gone
My sister was only five
She suffered for on reason
Every time I see a child
I think of her
There is pain in knowing
My sister that I never met
There is pain in knowing
My sister
There is pain in knowing
What I never got to know
There is pain in knowing
I never knew you...
3. Something somewhere else
We have pounded for years and years
No support from the start
Biding homage to metal sound
Doing our damnedest to make our mark
Little respect, only from our peers
Condemned by the local scene
“You are nothing! Till you’re something,
Something somewhere else.”
I’m gonna be, something somewhere else.
Reinforce what we do
Break the barriers that keep us down
Consistency in our path
Compulsive need to be on top
This hunger still grows unfed
Because these words have burned my head
“You are nothing! Till you’re something,
Something somewhere else.”
I'm gonna be
Something somewhere else
4. A view from the outside
No Easter baskets, no Christmas cards
Like an orphan, left in the cold
Praised for feats, not who I am
More conditions in the art of pain
You took away what I am
You took away what I do
Help me forget all this shit
Unwanted from the day I was born
This home, it crumbles inside
A handless touch, that's left a scar
These walls bleed my pain
The family grows, the circle turns
Don’t you do this to my child
I can’t repeat the steps that have brought me here
I close my eyes and receive new impressions
On what life should be
Forcing me to accept humiliation
And my uncertainty
I wish I had a view from the outside
Distorted picture that I see clear
View from the outside
The steady path that I will reach
View for the outside
Frustration leaves me empty...inside
The enigma of this man is peeled away
To reveal a loveless childhood
That has followed me to adulthood
A frown has been ripped in me
No suture can fix what is done
But my guide to happiness
Is restricted exposure to you
You are deep, superficially
This destroys my peace of mind
What traits will I inherit from you?
I didn’t ask for it, in the first place!
There’ll come a day, when I look to the mirror
And become now what I hate, until that day comes
I’m working to change my fate
5. Killing off a part of me
The stories that you tell
Are the ones that I have told
The smile that you sell
Is the one that I once sold
I’m slow to let in your air
I haven’t breathed like this in some time
A search for my balance
Is killing off the life I once lived
Killing off a part of me, just to be with you
6. Rootless
I grow sick and tired
Of hearing the same old shit
You talk about my metal
Like it doesn’t exist
Take your peace signs and your flowers
And you cram them. up your arse!!
Rootless...that’s what you are.
So you claim to be a "hippie"
But you weren’t yet born
Say you’re “against the trends”
With your tie-die t-shirt worn
Dead drug addicts are your savior
Your only salvation is to drown in patchouli oil
Rootless...that’s what you are.
What will you be next year?
7. Nothing left
Sometimes I wonder
Why should I help you
When I can’t even help myself
The more I carry
The better I feel
It keeps my mind off of me
Some see a strong foundation
But the few have walked their fingers through the ashes
of what is left, and they will see
There is nothing, nothing left
I’ve sponged in all your wrongs
I’ve cleansed you with these arms
Yet there is still so much to clean
If I live long enough
With things worse than death
Whose mind will I find when It’s my time to lean
Some see a strong foundation
But the few have walked their fingers through the ashes
of what is left, and they will see
There is nothing, nothing left
I won’t help you, I can’t help you
I won’t help you anymore...
8. A
Bonded by appearance only
No common ground between the two
This leisure union
Will it test monogamy’s rule
Her appetite for affection
Has left me so very weak
She’s found a source of attention
She sneaks out as I sleep
Your scruples have been lost
Intuition tells the truth
There is nothing, where there was nothing
It ceased to exist
Abstinence or adultery
Is now the balance where you hang
Indecisive burden
That sways with time
Contemplation, condemnation-foreshadow
Explanation, communication-alibi
Exaggeration, inclination-heavy cove
Manipulation, violation-allegation
Temptation is a contrast to your world
Scarlet letter, on your chest
Scarlet letter, just like the rest
9. New minority
Pushed in the depths, under all the shit
I’m last on the list, my hunger starts to grow
I wait in wings, for my time to shine
I crave the attention, it feeds this infection
Drowned by the rap, country and disco
I frown at the fact, where will metal go?
Employed is the tactic, to keep this beast alive
It sounds so damn drastic. this rage from inside
Low common denominator
Is what you say to me
A white metal band
Is what we’ll always be
No hippshit, yeah you can
Save it for the weak
With our pride intact
We won’t be discreet
So what, it’s old school
And you say it’s out of style
But I know where I came from
My roots stretch a mile
With only a few that are proud
This union stands with clarity
In these times of change
We’re the new minority
The Union
10. Waiting to be full again
Deep within these savage eyes
Linger on my agony
A well-respected shadow sleeps
Hidden under lock and key
I have felt the realm of loving
I have felt the realm of losing
Don’t want to lose again
So I don’t love, no more
I have purged myself again
Waiting to be full...
One angry moment
Has echoed for years and years
I can’t seem to let it go
It’s the only thing I have
11. O
I would have done anything for you
I have held what you could never grasp
I feel it sometimes pull away
Yet I cling to it as if it were the last
As we peel away to opposing sides
A descriptive war has left us frail
Gone is love articulation
As this awful attempt to mend goes stale
This absence of reason turns this room so very cold
As the winds of tension brush against my skin again
For you to have hate me so much
You have had to love me twice as such
Is there truth in the notion.
Or are you just going through the motion?
Rationalize absurdity, oblivious now to what I see
Abolish all that you have known, to fulfill your last moan
Now suggestions of distance taking over
With no intent of ever intertwining
I have walked this trail before
Another frolic with no good intentions
Maimed is the will for perfection
Strong is my need for resistance
Sterile are the thoughts of renewal
As I pass the touch now to you
As the circle turns again
You will walk this trail that I have tread
As the circle turns again
You will walk this trail that I now dread.
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