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SCALD LYRICS

Nematoid: specimen parts V-IIX

"Nematoid: specimen parts V-IIX" (2000 Demo)

1. The Longest Day
2. Birthweight
3. Vanishing Point
4. Nematoid







1. The Longest Day

I have been awake too long, I crave the nothing, but dreamless sleep is a futile hope. No screams to break the sombre void. I still avoid soporific bliss. The darkness I deserve denies me peaceful hours. My insect crawling skin tingles broken nerve. Lights wander in my eyes, scratching blackened rings. Will exhaustion never call silence to this abrasive mind? Hypersensitive delirium twists the slightest sound. Collapsing boneless figures wait in sleeping gloom. Dormant in subconscious mind until the heartbeat slows, to wake in dream, drag me to agitated rooms. Sub-mechanical taunting congregation, too fucking real to me. Colourless chuckles pulling on my fragile, senses to gather every agony to torment with on return. I close the door on sleep to keep my demons out, but each waking hour heightens muscle strain. Staring in no direction in restless sweating daze. Is this godís sick game to turn me to prayer, to beg forgiveness and release from this endless fucking day? Head against glass, peering down in twilight. Fantasise face first and smile at the inviting ground. To drift on a warm sea with the breathing dead, a self induced coma calls with itís beautiful numb. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!




2. Birthweight

The birth-weight is upon your shoulders. Every aspiration piled on you, of the losers who spawned you. The impossibility of others expectations, gnawing at the conditioned fear of failure. Tied to the roots of the family tree. Born to disappoint. Feel the same guilt. Feel the same shame. Feel the same spite of every fucking generation. Why must it be like this? It always turns to shit. Shit sticks, birth-weight grows. Pass the pressure to your progenies. Erode their free will. Instill bitterness. Let them carry the growing burden. Wait for them to fuck it up. Watch them drown, they have let you down. Broken like you, so feel superior at last. Stronger than them, just like your father before you. Become his image, in a strangle hold adored you. Such loving control. Learn to suffocate; itís for the best.




3. Vanishing Point

What happened? Did I begin to feel well? Rejuvenated prequel to greater ills. Assessing this ambiguous situation, in lingering indignation. I canít look in me any longer. Put me back where I belong. In the darkest place, with no face, invisible. I want to fade out of all sight. Transgressive meanderings, unsuccessful couplings. The death I look like, the shit I feel like. Too much effort in words. It's easier to hurt than to admit pain, but impassive is a hard expression to hold. Indivisible personality, fit to burst. Itís not my normal; Iím fucking dying in here. Lie prostrate pondering the scurf feasting dust mites under me. I would give my soul to know they arenít there. Breathe in the vanishing point. Come to me. Smother me. Is it time to try again?




4. Nematoid

 


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