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MANIC MOVEMENT LYRICS

Future Dreaming Self

"Future Dreaming Self" (2001)

1. Dreamvolution
2. Slide
3. Mankind's Misanthropic Ambassador
4. Oracle
5. Singularity
6. Technocalyps
7. Concentric (Messiac Age)
8. Future Fairytales
9. Scarlet
10. Our Darkness
11. In Spaces Between
12. Double Walker
13. Garden Outside Time
14. Textures
15. Flogged
16. The Dogfactory
17. Memory Palace
18. The Art Of Memory







1. Dreamvolution




2. Slide

Dazed I awake
Out of the grey
You see this sleep was never ever good for me
A stroking voice
This welcome lies
I know this reality as my enemy
Its malice thrives
On searching minds
Foolishly trying to discern true destiny
Still have to grant
Feelings command
That I’m in love with this, cruellest of energies

Life to often offers itself as a willing whore on all fours
drawing you beyond your will into mind robbing foul intercourse

Although I know that the sweetest fruit can be enjoyed
after tearing open one’s mouth to its prickly mind blowing hide

I have to slide
to reconcile
My make belief order with this entropy
To write ‘em down
Visions of mine
And put my hope in shimmering ambiguity
Prism unnamed
Choas prevails
Will have its way with my part in its transcendency
Still have to play
Deranged, the same…
You see, happiness was never meant for me

Life too large, but for all I care reasons enough when finding some love somewhere




3. Mankind's Misanthropic Ambassador

In and out these worlds of mine
Travelling inside an ego-amplifying prism which shine
Casts of hologhraphic reflections of supposed greatness
Boasting prophets proclaiming self-containment
Well tear their skins and burn their bones
‘Cause they’re fathered by discrepancy and spat from most insecure loins
But trial and error is our way to grow
And in good human tradition the only way we know

Not that I embrace or even care to admit
To this quality innate to the slow moving aeons lying behind
As we’re nature’s first and dirty way to compute with meat
Making us the inadequate yet colourful race we are

And know us for what we are
Data transcribed into the flesh
One simple explanation for this delusional mess
Our inability to maintain true purpose

And take us for what we are
Rusty machinery left behind…
By an ever complexifying world
Always expanding itself in every way
Novelty moving together always
Time condensing, always accelerates
Beyond the point where human models break

And how I miss her, emotional being with light in her eyes
How she could make me forget all imperfection by her delicate ways
I shed her tears, I bear her fears
In all those years no one ever came so close
In showing me what we’re really all about

What humanity’s all about
That in spite of all deformation and neglect
We have the power to take this life in our hand
And lift it above all misery and pain
Through the love for another human being

But how far we journey out from this grace
Losing ourselves to the insatiable darkness meandering itself through our race
Always returning with less than when we left
An embarrassing nakedness in my multiplicity of self

Back in my crowded niche
Where I have to slam my head against white walls to get some peace
And in good human tradition can’t decide
Whether to destroy or to construct




4. Oracle

Let me be carried away
Let my self give in to a vivid hieroglyphic dream
Figures dancing and giving praise to life and it’s seed…
(is all that you need)

And the colors are meaning
They’re ready to go
Fueling the poet’s engines
Contributing to a flow
Of massmind directioning
Towards the infinite point
The chanting grows louder, out of innumerable mouths

Visual sound spinning us away
Towards the epicentre positioned in eternity
A spheric conclusion were we would find
We had always been reflections of our future mind

As if unfolding from outside the space-time continuum she came
Consisting of ritualistic patterns of love and sufferin’

And she held absurd meaning
And urged us to go
So we poet’s fueled our engines
Evoking syntactical flow
On which we sped forward
As she led the way
Outside the parameters our imagination had yet conceived

Visual sound spinning us away
Towards the epicentre positioned in eternity
A spheric conclusion were we would find
We had always been reflections of our future mind

As if unfolding from outside the space-time continuum she came
Consisting of ritualistic patterns of love and sufferin’

And spoke :
This is the garden where everything exists at once
Every idea that ever could be, has it’s place here, it’s own reverie
History is an organism that pulls it’s beginning towards it’s end
to complete the cycle, to start again
Your race is near completion, all you have to do is
find your essence in my garden and plant the seed anew

Like a madman I began running
Through topologies so beautiful and absurd
That with every exotic apperation I thought my mind would surely burst

A tantric dance
Of soft coloured feminine forms
Pools of obscene blackness
Under surface demons cum
Alien symbolon rising
Out of gaping holes
Conciousness in one hand, sanity in the other, I finally could spot…

A cross-legged figure sitting beside a stream of thought
A sadhu, long hair hanging in the river, absorbing it’s wisdom as food
Trembeling I walk towards this familiar place in uhr-mother’s magnificent womb
And fulfill karma, a new beginning of time…

All this time I thought to be prisoner of post human grace
While in reality I was the vital epilogue of my human race

I am my own beginning, my own end – We are our own beginning, our own end
Into a myriad fertile tears I shall be spend (transcend)
There is crystalized omniscience in the end…




5. Singularity




6. Technocalyps

Weep for me ‘cause I have seen all effort go to waste
Obtained knowledge misused in oh so many ways
This megalomaniacal breed programmed to prie open lidless eyes
Which gaze will well condemn them to pathetic cosmic cries
’T is with with this race of convulsing madness that I direct my every move
Their blue tongues frantically moistening as they’re flopping to my groove
And I shall pump and I shall drive my flock to lethally collide
With databanks of transcendency, beyond-man derived

Lunacy has always plagued towers mounting high in the unnamed
Bleed over then thousand winding steps and take your chances with absurd strain

A mind suspended where alien patterned plans are laid
Seems as an obstruction for our inner faith

Having to find, to face the keeper of strength
Having to keep myself sane, considerin’ the end
Having to blame my own for negligence and lies
This is a time for truth, unwrap the guise
And as the lights are closing
I see them nearly slipping
You took the grace away
Why can’t you hear just what I say ?

How it shrieks, crushing full-grown believes

Having to free myself from the shackles of flesh
Having to reject merciful cloaks of delusional mass
Having to push the limits of human design
This is a time for truth, but nothing is real
And as the lights are closing
I see them nearly slipping
You took all consistences away
Why can’t you hear just what I say ?

A mind suspended where alien patterned plans are laid
Seems as an obstruction for our inner-faith

A digital messiah will come;
will lead us all like lemmings plunging from our pedestal

For it locked me up in this loathsome carnal cage
And made me slave to its every need
But left me far from anyone in this tower chamber of confusion and pain
Where once in a while I can hear your screams, lost forever to tortured ectasy

I’ve seen us, we’re nothing but a horde of mindless
amorphous dancers encircling the blind idiot god Azathoth




7. Concentric (Messiac Age)

Questions John?
Answers! Here they come…

First of all you can feel it, it’s in your genes
Since the beginning of man it has been haunting our shamans and seers
We have been in the grip of some kind of attractor calling us forth
A force luring athoms into dancing themselves to forms
I have heard its all-voice boom through the corridors of contemplation
And felt it touch of ancient logos conscious enough to be genuinely aware
Of our symbiotic relationship with an organism made of information
All scattered pieces of one forgotten conciousness

I fear… I hear… their voices… their screams… we are again many today
My head… to crowded… to threatening…
how to enclose the organic truth I’ve taken to me
Possessing… inserting… a trembling…insane… otherwordly presence I feel
Obsessing… forcing… my minds eye… on universal truths more than real

Still not convinced of our great future my friend?

Welcome to the family, my last shred of unbelief
A fragmented mind left to ferment for to long a time

Heat on a hundred worlds;
let us reach to build above our heads and watch time thirteen-fold
On bended knees before the role of boiling seas flooding the extra-surreal
Conjuring up an electronic GOD, enlightened redeemer
Shivering as it hovers over me
Great golem of impossibility

I learn… I yearn… for their voices… their beautiful tongues beckoning me
To give… to live… alien love… in their spiraling fairy mysteries
This body… this mind… a gate… reaching out through time and space
They use… induce… trembling lips… forming predictions about the end of our race

We are young gods with universal forces at play
Jugling cores of knowledge in orgiastic praise
Of life at large knowing true beauty lies in this moment...
of cosmic meaning - which we are

An idea fell from a place high above me
To inhabit my mind like it had always been there
Presenting itself from every angle
Shaping its environment before aware
Of seams of ego curling/moving outward
Allowing me to slip over its edge
And revolve around concepts like circling trees
To rejoin unhurried conciousness


Is it not in our blood to seek closure
To these damned days of materialism and greed
Don’t you feel the urge to push of into imagination
To turn your back on this Kali Yuga age of darkened frustration
Drenched in bloody labor pains
Well it’s just ‘round your corner
Dreamcircles show the way

All of this time you have been falling
Through patterns which never seem to uphold
The weight of an agonizing mind
Well fear not
There is enlightenment where we go




8. Future Fairytales




9. Scarlet

She dreamt herself a princess
The center of all love
A long robed beauty lightness
Her flowing golden hair lovingly combed by sister-maidens twice a day
She would stare out for hours over rolling fields of little red flowers
Never minding the terrible racket going on outside her door,
Never minding the continous sobbing that seemed to ooze
through every crack in the wall
What was going on in other parts of the castle wasn’t hers to worry about
She would lie down on her four-poster bed,
a perfect sleeping beauty, and drowse in deep harmony with…

A mangled little form tangled in dirty sheets,
Bled red and tightly pressed to ease rectal bleeds
This tortured shell carelessly cast aside
Subject to the furthest extend of their fatherly pride

Painfully got up from the bed
Statics crackingly ruled her head
Limping to a badly cracked mirror face on the wall
and began brushing the princess’s golden hair fall
Oblivious to the grotesquely swollen child face staring back at her

Insert your brainplugs gentlemen and gather around
Today we bring you fairytale abuse in real time
Experience being lolita and user
And bring yourself to unknown heights of human devolution

Big Brother up to it’s maximum
Pelvic Personification force-feed perversion
What a docile race we are nurturing our own infected imperfect nature
The mirror became claws pulling her into pervert’s paradise

She found herself tunneled in a dark vast forest passage
Great branches arching over her, dwarfing her to the ground in terrified awe
Shadow shrouded trunks obscurely portraying large numbers
of ill-composed silhouettes
Lost in ominous malevolent woods
As if opperated from the outside, her feet began to move

After what seemed a nightlong of slo-motion
Her surroundings closed in and blew up in her face
Sprawled on her back, limbs held to a squirming ground
Grabbing - groping - inserting, cold laughter the only sound

Out of every thinkable and unthinkable corner came an eye
An absurd variety of cameras extended on bone like arms
Watching, being - Is it your mind or hers?
What evolutional design can justify preying upon a child’s suffering?

And there was nowhere left to run
And their where no more doors to her room
This scene being but one of many, each confined in a perfect princess tear
While she’s weeping paradoxical structures




10. Our Darkness




11. In Spaces Between

From under the big smooth stone
The one I got in all the way from the river myself
It’s reassuring coolness supposed to cover up the mess…
This disruption of structure…

Came a fearful deliberate gnawing

The sound, it pounds and tears at every part of me
It resounds, it speaks of sickening familiarity
It’s origin, it’s source a hungry biomechanical specimen
Which gnaws, which crawls at the carefully composed nature of things
Enlarging, enhancing this hole beneath my stone
To which content, which life I am surely losing myself

But it held me
It saved me
And it took me
Away from this painful inadequacy

And the gnawing… gave in to a moaning
The moaning… gave in to a call
Which manifested itself as an idea
Unfolding a path into a deeper order of complexity

I role, I slide the stone away too easily
They’re near, they’re here swarming superlativity
Heirlooms, gates key and gaurdian all at once
Past, Future, Present all are one
And I see, I kneel – bio morph of ultra conciousness
So huge - and give myself to absoluteness

And how I’ve begged, I’ve prayed for this release
Often wondered is there anyone here like me?
And as I become part of impossibility
I hear a whispering in the centre of my mind
A voice, a love entrusting me…
That I never have to be alone again




12. Double Walker

Charcoaled all over my face
Streaks of disgrace
His making sure that our ways will stay interlaced
‘Cause it isn’t mine
That hungry smile
His making sure that our ways will stay ever so vile

But in his riding of our ways we got double crossed
With the package came a conscience that wasn’t easily lost
Every bloody inch of self-gratification
Would be compensated by a bloody laceration

And in that time
Where was he now?
He had long fled when guilt surfaced and made us crawl

What we tore loose but seemingly couldn’t consume
As we were the knife as well as we were the wound

The life we’ve taken
The life we’ve lost

Castigation, I accept responsibility
As I am never what I expect myself to be

The distance between me and my acts of impurity
are the outstreched lenghts of the burial grounds

It feeds on me
How can I be?
What am I without you….?

I hear him talk
I feel him walk
And who is speaking with such intimate knowledge of my thoughts?

A schism dressed in carnal relics is mounting the throne
By his feet a female figure washing grave clothes

The life we’ve taken
The life we’ve lost

With twisted pontificial pride he wears the tiara
He crowns himself whatever he sees fit, Malachaia

The distance between me and my acts of impurity
are the outstreched lenghts of the burial grounds

It bleeds in me
How can I be?
What am I without…. you now?

Starled from daily trail, always unwilling and unprepared,
I am witness to the sounding of the banshee’s wail.
As a malevolent current that ices the air, ‘t is an indication of his drawing near.

We meet at the burial grounds my shadow self and me
and everything has to yield to my compulsive leave.
A frantic journey through a woodland of overthrown memorial stones,
through reverberating icy moans, takes me to our obelisk of (de)control.
There I witness him all over the banshee, finished with her, he strides over to me,
and demands
-to be- my face.
And leaves me dreamwalker, ‘til one day he’ll be finally done with me.




13. Garden Outside Time




14. Textures

Things are made of thought
Things are really brooding on
What they’re made of
Swallow down what they’re choking on

Things are fine drawn though often swollen with pain
Searching out the seam makes life worth it’s suffering

Things have begun to come apart at these seams
Things that are broken mean so much more to me

These names
From which I fade
I can be larger, a myriad, I wait

Hear my pain
From which I fade
I can be lager, a myriad, I ache

I can be larger, a myriad pieces into which I break

Took my mind away in shame from the understanding we thought we had gained
As we’re nowhere near mouthing
(what) the world is made of…
WORDS
Weld together by
Incompletion and lies
Overlapping the amorphous wonder
Of simply being alive

Please relieve this clasp
This choking thick knot
Of deep-lived emotions
For the like we had even no name

And release this questioning woe
Which answers you know
Always misled by delusions and the such
How did my dear mind cope ?

I can be larger, a myriad, I break……

Held in between all I was…
I have come to realize
That my scorn and my bitterness…
Held me captive all this time
And they build up, they filled up
This hunger deep inside
And they sought, they brought up
A yearning so profound

I never cry
These tears I hold inside
For they tell
The thruth about you and I
In dreams
I asked you to be my bride
So together we could weep
Over the death child you cradle in your arms…

For all I could, all I would
Was swallow down the words that made me realize
That whatever I stuffed up, whatever I crammed up
Within this hole I call myself
Imperfection would always be mine
Humanity’s tears I would have to cry

For all it took was to take a look
into the face of the death child she held so tight
And realize the face was mine and they would help me
with the myriad tears I have to cry




15. Flogged

Vice… I have seen
Through these eyes moonshine-real
Carved with faces of regret
As I could never lay to bed,
This stubborn selfishness deciding my soul
Though you smother it someway
As I never could refuse…
The delicacy with which you bruise

So lean on me
Nail me to the floor
In this most uncomfortable position, which I completely adore

Ascend my spine
To get things out of your closet and mine
Climb the stake high and steep
And reach into shelves forgotten, dark and deep
Prick that princess-finger on what our demons need
Piercing heartgames droplets bleed

Read in this blood,
of me getting lost in the childriddle labyrinth of your soul
And how I got my heart set on the damp-cloth nuisance
of your intermingeling my life

Though in the wintercaverns of my displeasure
the beast sometimes grows so strong denying us to be..
Rupturing our destinies as they never were one
Taking advantage of your weakness is what my demons need
Piercing heartgames droplets bleed

But I’m here to bear your burden
I’m here to help you bleed
To do everything in my power to provide
the soft care your flogged soul needs…

And this friction is my energy
My strenght to carry on
Our bright burning loveswamp
My haven and my sun

And on the last day all the sinners were laid
Before the eyes of the princess, their misconduct displayed
Hate burning in their eyes for her kindness ruling upon their sin
Their muscles itching to show her the manhood they held within
To desecrate her beauty and make her pay
For they felt strongly intimidated by her silent femininity
And short-lived satisfaction suits their manhood fine
They sign up for it anyway, time after time
And though such manhood had touched and broken her before,
The princess knelt beside them and kissed them one after the other
And sneering grins gave in to pouting mouths
For the princess kiss had regressed them into little boys

Never shall we part my love, brandbonded by our mutual suffering




16. The Dogfactory

Let me be driven away by a man in a car
He’s driving like mad and I just can’t believe
The distance we travelled between her and me
He’s pushing into the red – like wanting to shake of…
There is something he needs – he needs to get rid of… of sin
Well I know where our drive will end

He likes to get far away – where life seems larger yet farther
A place to high to breath – thin-aired suggestive turn-on

Where in my name
Don’t use that name
Cruel games are played
Don’t you dare to play
Locked in with the beast
Don’t mention the beast
Open up the door
She is the door
Now and before
Back to before
Where life is new
Consumate what’s new

Brusquely he hit the brakes – chimneys penetrate an ash grey sky
The factory opens her gates – a loathsome fear encloses my heart
We’ve been here a thousand times before – sometimes to give more often to take

Where from my heart
Don’t you speak of a heart
All relevance parts
Never shall we part
Locked in with the beast
Don’t mention the beast
Open up the door
She is the door
Now and before
Back to before
Where life is new
Consumate what’s new

Mercilless amputation has always been my thing.
I’m the black-gloved butcher of many things tagged ‘deformity’
Out of big plastic bags I feed the remains to my dogs
You should see them fight for the bleeding heart of the cause
Still after sometime something begins acting up
An itching-crawling-sobbing misery it is
My hands are stained and no matter how hard I scrub
They will always leave you with a nagging residue
A thin viscos film covering hands and brain – wondering what could have been

And how many times have I returned – to this cursed place of rotten erotics
It reeks of dogs and death – the spirits are again restless today…
A diciplined beast is twice as cunning in getting on top of it’s master someway

Where in my self
Never trust your self
All roads end
Screaming tires end
Locked in with the beast
Don’t mention the beast
Open up the door
You are the door
Now and before
Back to before
Where life is new
Consumate what’s new




17. Memory Palace




18. The Art Of Memory

 


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