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Tormented Belief

"Tormented Belief" (2003)

1. Melancholy Beginning
2. Forgotten Dead Crow
3. My Blood in Your Hands
4. Arising From the Ashes
5. Devouring Your Essence
6. Being as One With Hatred
7. Me, the Hanged One
8. Constant Suffering

1. Melancholy Beginning

My suffering is my only possession
Pain, my lover, cruelty, my master
Your flesh my loyal obsession
Your pain my salvation I'm after

The evening moon witnesses all
From my gutted stomach to my bashed head
Pleasure shall be my downfall
And agony, my glorious death

My suffering is all I have left over
Pain my only friend
Your flesh my rotten lover
Your pain my final end

The morning sun sees all
From my shredded skin to my broken bones
Pleasure shall be my downfall
And agony my comforting home

2. Forgotten Dead Crow

I have killed yet another
And now I sit in my black hole
waiting for another victim that I can behold
And not even that will feed this horrid need
I live for my own pain and suffering

I have beaten many before
And that would kill my pain
But this rotten feeling in my gut
Won't seem to be away
No matter how many I kill, it isn't enough
So I sit in agony in my little black box

For a mere second when I had her in my reach
I almost felt cured and almost felt free
She clawed and she fought yet I did not bleed
No blood can be drawn from pure agony
I stabbed her flesh and said my farewell
I left to find another pawn to kill
But there seems to be no end to this horrid suffering
I am not him and he is not me

I am somehow forgotten and left behind
This life it has cruelly cast me aside
And fate it gave me a horrid plot
All I want is to die and peacefully rot

Scum of the earth will find their final rest
While I work to earn my own belated death
I am forgotten by all except for this fate
It has assigned me an eternal duty of hate

3. My Blood in Your Hands

Death it did not take me, death it did not want me
My time to come is never, but to kill again, maybe I will be free
Your fatal wounds can not put me down or stop my destiny
I will arise in an hour with the gift of suffering

In my own blood, dressing in my own agony
Death left me alone, to heal, to fulfil my prophecy
I am left with nothing but this 'life'
In my mind a stranger, in my gut a knife
And death it could not take me, even though I begged
On my knees with blood in my eyes, I could not be saved
And I have nothing but this unwanted devoir
This inability to die, this deadened fervor
All was stolen by my murderer
And that of actual value was stolen so long before
My wounds are now healed and clean
I will kill another until I find what should have been
My death, my peace, my long awaited demise
My departure from this horrid place, the end of my cries

4. Arising From the Ashes

I awoke from a disturbed sleep
Dead whores dancing in the walls
I looked into a blackened mirror
And it was not me I saw
My destiny was sorrow, my plan was to kill
And hatred it came from nowhere
With a need to be fulfilled

Among the streets I roamed, with a burning pang
My blood boiled with a most provoking flame
I found myself in her coppery blood
And I almost felt alright
But then it came back, my bloodlust
My loathsome appetite

Under the blackened sky I awoke from a sleep
And what I saw in the mirror it was no longer me
My destiny was sorrow, my fate was to kill
And hatred slipped in with a need to be fulfilled

I should have been dead, I was but still alive
Walking among these endless streets to make others die
From my death I arose anew to bring a message of sorrow
A force to roam in agony, to live again tomorrow

5. Devouring Your Essence

Your blood brought comfort, and a grin came over me
It has been so long since I was truly free
But your demise brought with it a new life
Devouring your essence, I shall die another night

So close to my death, I must keep staying
For who knows how long, death it would not take me
I grin at the thought of final peace and death
Devouring your essence so I can finally rest

You may be the last, there seems to be no conclusion
And you meant nothing to me, you are nothing but an illusion

I have blood in my eyes, and a wound that won't heal
I have a knife in my hand, and nothing could make me feel

Freedom must be near, for I have waited a long time
Centuries have passed, and I want what is mine
I must kill again

Devouring your essence I must meet my death
The misery of life haunts me, and I have nothing left
I must kill again!

6. Being as One With Hatred

I have found true happiness in malice and scorn
I think I can live like this, murdering and so forlorn
My joy it comes from others suffering and blight
Perpetual blood on my hands and in my etes, eternal night
Prophecy or not, this is my chosen existence
I shall kill tomorrow, no regret or resistance
I have found my peace in this life of ruin
And I am ready to kill again soon

My hate feeds and drives my damned soul
My hate is my bridge and I have paid my toll
At last I have found peace and tranquility
Through this hatred that shows no civility
My anger and rage have guided me to bliss
With a dead whore's dance and a serpernt's kiss

I am one now with my own hate
I am one now with this chosen fate
I walk with joy, these eternal nights
Stalking my prey with an insatiable appetite
Blood stained upon my skin and the moon in my eyes
So close to life and so far from my demise

7. Me, the Hanged One

8. Constant Suffering

Compassion, a possession I do not obtain
I belong to no-one
Just a lost soul with nothing to live for
I once had a friend, but now she lives in pain
She belongs to only me
I have nothing to live for any more

Sympathy, I have never known
I belong to my own sorrow
I once had a lover, but she lies alone
She belongs to only me
And I shall not see tomorrow

I guess it was I who mudered her
But she was most deserving
My suffering shall show me the way of murder
I shall lick my wounds
And clean the dirt out of me

With my knife in my hand, and blood from my eyes
I walk along this lonely valley
With my heart split open and empty inside
I wander through this emptiness
That has taken so much out of me


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