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THE PAST ALIVE LYRICS
"Deepest Inner" (2002)
1. Only Me
2. Mindsqeezing
3. Coma
4. Feed Me
5. So Much Pain
6. Desperate Soul
7. The Final Bow
8. Two
9. Loneliness
10. Gossip
11. Eternal Light
12. Where It All Began
13. The Past Alive
14. Who Am I
15. On And On
1. Only Me
Waiting for the sunlight
To kiss my brazen skin
Hoping that the rain
Will heal my wounds within
But it won´t rain
Until I tell my name
No words won´t heal
Until I say what I feel
I wanna break out I wanna live
I wanna scream loud don´t wanna give
I wanna take all this is mine
I wanna stand tall - not in line
Hidden alone cowardly
In the cold and safe darkness
Trembling so frightened
Only covered by these rags
There´s no hand for me
So how can I rally
The time left me forlorn
I wish I could be reborn
I wanna break out...
Now see my face
I know that I´m still dazed
But I am I
As nobody can deny
I wanna break out...
This is me that you see - only me
2. Mindsqeezing
Trembling inside of my prison
Dying for no goddamn reason
Flies that I smashed on the wall
They ignored my warning call
So alone freezing
All gone mind squeezing
The cold darkness of light
Shows my inner self unwind
The ghost inside of my cell
This devil inside of my hell
So alone...
Can´t make it all undone
Release in the barell of a gun
Creeping crawling under my skin
No redemption for my deadly sin
So alone...
3. Coma
Lying between life and death
They are lying plugged on a bed
Are they waiting for their final breath
Or does new life lie ahaed
When death is near
We feel our deepest fear
They are lying in coma
They are alone
They are lying in coma
An accident or heart attack
Those who stay will painly lack
If death is winning as hope dies
The tears will cause silent cries
When Death is...
Still lying there machines to breathe
They do suffer can you believe
Pull the plug to let them die
Who dares to say that last goodbye
When death is...
4. Feed Me
All that I bleed
Is all that you need
Now go away cause you bring pain
Please let me breathe and brake this chains
All that I take
Is all that you brake
Feed me with lies
As my inner dies
Don´t show me things that can never be
Leave me alone cause you´re killing me
Bleed me as I can´t tell you what is real
What I feel
Feed me with all these lies that do kill
My weak will
Bleed me
Feed me
Bleed me
Now!
5. So Much Pain
Why is this pain seeking me
Hunting down instantly
Chaos follows no straight line
No way out this life is mine
Look out there
The wind carrying so much pain
Look out there
The clouds so heavy due to the rain
Feel my hurt
Inside because this all could change
Feel now
I couldn´t bare to lose and rearrange
Don´t you know how this feels
For what I´ve done I´m paying bills
Take me deep inside of you
The only way to get on through
Look out there…
6. Desperate Soul
I´ve been walking through the rain
I´ve been talking to my pain
I´ve been waiting the sun to shine
Upon the desperate soul of mine
Decisions leading the way
Through the life through the day
Be sure of what you always do
Don´t try to walk in another one´s shoes
I´ve been walking...
How can I turn the right way
Make no mistakes and make me happy
And on the other hand I try
To cause no hurting tearful cry
I´ve been walking...
The consequence leading the dance
The decision killing the vision
The memory it smiles to me
My inner self creates its´ shelf
I´m so afraid of the consequence
What I do sometimes makes no sense
Been always honest to myself I guess
But in the end nothing changes
I´ve been walking...
7. The Final Bow
Let the full moon shine
As somewhere someone cries
They have taken my soul
Now I got nowhere to go
All my dreams now denied
Can´t divide dark from light
Take away that agony
Give me back my memory
Not now I´m not dead
But yet I´m not alive
See me here crippled to shit
And blinded by the hatred
All my dreams...
Hear my weak vivid words
These were my last efforts
I´m gone I leave you now
This is my final bow
All my dreams...
8. Two
You will never know
How life would be without this pain
This shadow always hunting you
Is driving you insane
Again beaten and misused
He showed you how to cry
Your pleading easily denied
There is no reason why
Imagine dreaming through the day
Disturbed what was inside of you
The evil came to be
He made his mark upon your soul
You will never be free
Imagine dreaming through the day
Listen to what he´s got to say
Would you mind letting me live
Would you mind me to forgive
As I die I´ll be unforgiven
So forgive and let me be living
9. Loneliness
There´s nobody listening anymore
I´m all alone on my sandy shore
On an isle of loneliness again I live
And I still got so much more to give
Where do I want to go today
There was someone who shared my way
One year she made my isle complete
And when she left she made my heart bleed
Where is my aim where is my cloud
On which I flight I cried aloud
It turned to rain drowning my isle
This was endless love for a little while
Mistakes that I regret
Not enough what I said
I tried to hold on
In the end she is gone
10. Gossip
I look out of the window
I see a million faces
Staring at me
As if I stole their places
So I´m turning away from
This useless competition
Cause this all seems like
An endless repetition
So I multiply the flies inside
Then I do apply the lies to the light
Still they´re bothering me
For the things I haven´t done
Guns pointing at me
For the feelings so long gone
Can´t stop staring talking
This gossip in my ears
No this is not me
This can´t be my own tears
So I multiply the flies inside
Then I do apply the lies to the light
Not even analyze this sight
This is how I do survive this hight
11. Eternal Light
I am walking down this endless path
Seeing things never should be seen
All my memories are passing by
Words of truth and fatal lies
Eternal light is flashing in me
Is this the end of the road that I can see
No turning back not even left nor right
Eternity is this what you call that light
Who´s paved this way that I walk
It is the last I will ever see
Now I feel the end of this road
This is where I leave my heavy load
Eternal light...
Eternity is this mortality
Or the final flight
Eternity is this insanity
Or this shining light
Eternal light...
12. Where It All Began
Hit me with your words that are beating
Leave me with these tears that I´m bleeding
So why do you take it to the limit
Believe in the lies that your feeling
Don´t trust in the love that I´m Breathing
Is this why you always create that grid
I´m taking you in
I´m leading you inside out within
Belive in me
Don´t take us where it all began
Cannot grab all those things that hurting
So far gone can´t believe why they´re burning
While you rest in the past we can´t go on
Every step that you thake you are grieving
To get out of this mist I´m retrieving
Cause I want you to see where you belong
I´m taking you in
I´m leading you inside out within
Belive in me
Don´t take us where it all began
13. The Past Alive
I thought I´ve forgotten all those things
I´ve made and felt so very long ago
It seemed dead but sometimes some drinks
Relive the past and create this undertow
Who was this child playing in the streets
Who was this kid unfit to speak
Who was this pupil playing to strange beats
Who this young man trying to reach the peak
The Past Alive
A song a word or just an ugly picture
A touch one sight or one single sound
Can make strange things so goddamn familiar
And let me forget the present around
Who was this child...
Burried so deep but still it pulses here
Memory to keep is what makes me feel stir
Dreamlike then I stare through nothing
Those forgotten feelings living in me
And then I desperately try to cling
To all this past inside of me
Who was this child…
The Past...
14. Who Am I
Sometimes when I´m alone at night
I cry the tear that I find inside
At day when I remember that
I´m feeling nothing but regret
Who am I I can´t tell
Where am I I can´t tell
Sometimes when I´m alone all day
I realize I got so much to say
And when I find an open mind
I konw it´s not what I wanted to find
Who am I...
And when I sit searching for words
I feel the echo of my efforts
I read my mind I find myself
In a dark and gloomy shelf
15. On And On
All day I´m down
In my dressing gown
Holding my head inside my hands
Tears fill my eyes
As everything dies
I´m caught within this cold rusty old fence
It keeps on preying on an on
It won´t stop hurting till it´s gone
I keep on crying on and on and on and
Why is it me
Why can´t I flee
From this inner cell that brakes my mind
Is this the price
For all those lies
Cannot forget what killed me there behind
It keeps on…
Hear me now feel my pain
This memory drives me insane
Help me out open the gate
I cannot live on with this fate
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