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THE COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINERS LYRICS
"Fetid Putrescent Whiffs" (2001 Demo)
1. The Standard Anatomical Position
2. Medicocriminal Entomology
3. Algor Mortis: The Linear Rate of Cadaveric Cooling
1. The Standard Anatomical Position
Long before I've examined the body or entered the tile-lined morgue
While I'm reviewing the official homicide files and removing my tools from their drawers
The decedent and the morgue is expertly prepared by underlings-faithful dieners and resident nurses
The procedure undertaken is always the same, from our tables to the backs of hearses
My interns were taught the fine art of cadaveric interviews, an ME's sine qua non tradition
To arrange the body into what's known in medical circles as
The Standard Anatomical Position.
They remove the corpse from the body bag
And hoist its heft onto the cold, steel slab
They prepare my tools for the surgery
And disrobe the cadaver for its necropsy.
Vitreous fluid reeks
Tissue samples stink
Excised organs leak
They stain my lab coat pink
Gurneys groan and squeal
Charred skin sloughs and peels
Bloody human veal
The odor makes me reel.
Standard-the procedure for hospitals and morgues
Anatomical-it enables complete dissection to inspect the gore
Position-its what pathologists and coroners are for.
Immortalizing decay with our Nikon camera before we ravage the body with our Stryker saw
Nimble fingers search for micro fibers as the skin is vacuumed for forensic evidence as required by law
Fingernails are scraped for blood and tissue, dermis debris lodged beneath the nail bed
Clothes are cut gingerly from the body with fabric cutting scissors, revealing a body stained red
Our forensic procedures are not taught in medical school, and are lost upon the average physician
The corpse, now nude, can be placed on its back and situated into.
The Standard Anatomical Position.
My assistants scrub and wash the corpse
With mild soaps and water, postmortem bath in the morgue
My tools are laid out, gleaming on the tray
The scene is set...I'm paged and on my way.
Bile, hot and thick
Post-mortem facial tics
Rotten skin so slick
My Stryker saw revs and kicks
Exsanguinated pale
Gas diseased and stale
The fumes I inhale
Dissected organs on the scale.
Standard-the procedure for hospitals and morgues
Anatomical-it enables complete dissection to inspect the gore
Position-its what pathologists and coroners are for.
The metal table gleams-scrubbed by my faithful team.
My talented medical assistants.
They've emptied the body bag-and checked its two toe tags.
And readied zip lock bags for evidence.
The cadaver spatter is impeccably cleaned; tools are washed, tiles are scrubbed and hosed down
The bedraggled floor is swabbed of its puddles and emptied into a bucket filled a foul ruddy-brown
Our plastic scrubs, now a red liquescent mess, are disposed of in the proper biohazard bin
My industrial-strength gilded rubber gloves are stripped and tossed as I lather my hands in the sink and rinse. . .
My dieners take out the biohazardous trash
And line the waste bins with fresh orange bags
They shave the cadaver's hair for cranial dissection
And ensure that the autopsy is assisted to completion...
Faithfully arranging the corpse into the Standard Anatomical Position.
Standard-the procedure for hospitals and morgues
Anatomical-it enables complete dissection to inspect the gore
Position-its what pathologists and coroners are for
The carcass lies belching, eructing methane gas
Its thorax slightly heaving until the hot wind can finally pass
The offalent stench leaves everyone in the room repulsed and aghast.
2. Medicocriminal Entomology
When unidentified remains are relinquished to our care
That are so decayed and liquefied as to make diagnosis quite a chore
When the putrescent canvas of death is teeming with bristling life
With tiny anthropoid stowaways nestled in every pore.
My autopsy technicians mistake the corpse shudder for a cadaveric spasm
But upon closer inspection they witness the nauseating wave of insect activity
The feasting and chatter drowns the neon hum from the morgue lamps and fans
And the ambient temperature rises 5 degrees as their chitinous bodies skitter in putridity.
The corpse is alive...reanimated through entomological means
The John Doe swells...as parasitic activity literally bursts through his seams
Seeping rivers of eggs...hatching larvae are hurriedly washed down the drain
Call the Forensic Entomologist.everyone knows he's got bugs on the brain.
Carcass hive.
Cadaverine nest.
The Forensic Entomologist is a specialist in this field
Of which there are three separate and distinct components
The Urban field deals with insect/human environment matters
Stored-Products handles infestation of commodities and products.
But the one that we require is the Medicolegal Entomology field
With its eccentric bug experts and their forensic Ph.D.'s
They've classified and catalogued their necrophilous winged friends
And can determine PMI by the stadiums and stages of insect activity.
Blowflies.spiders.beetles.mites and lice.
Maggots.larvae.pupa.hatch and fly.
Crawling.squirming.breeding.burrowing.
Medicocriminal entomology.
The Forensic Entomologist will analyze the cadaveric colonization
Taking samples and noting the current state of the Blowfly population
After determining the extent of the recent Coleoptera infestation
He will estimate the time of death so that we may continue with the examination.
When tissue liquefies and attracts the clavicorn.
The flies are drawn and oviposit their eggs.
From this predictable process, tiny maggots are born.
Named Instar Larvae, which then grow to Prepupae.
The maggot molts through three instar stages, plumping as they gnaw
Colonies hatch together and migrate across the corpse as a collective group
As a result of this infestation, they disseminate bacteria and secrete enzymes
Which enable nearly all of the soft tissue to be dissolved and consumed.
Depending on the habitat and the abundance of the region
The expert can determine if the Diptera is currently in season
Whether the Bottle fly prefers bright sunlight or shade
And if the Coleopteran is nocturnal or active during the day.
Oviposited eggs encrust the natural orifices and moist recesses
Maggots swim in wound sites consuming rotting necrotic flesh
The examiner's gloved hand is thrust wrist-deep in this bug colony
Searching through the thriving mush for additional squirming evidence.
Parasitic swarm.
Maggot colony.
Blowflies.spiders.beetles.mites and lice.
Maggots.larvae.pupa.hatch and fly.
Crawling.squirming.breeding.burrowing.
Medicocriminal entomology.
3. Algor Mortis: The Linear Rate of Cadaveric Cooling
Ravaged, torn, and punctured-the carcass oozes from multiple wounds
Avulsed and sliced, the dermis weeps pus and purge fluid with clear, viscous goo
Prior to the initial incision, before my scalpel is baptized bloody wet
We determine the postmortem interval using a simple algebraic formula for death.
A direct body core temperature measurement, postmortemly taken, is the order of the day
The corpse is lifted on its side and a slit in its pants is cut in the most delicate way
Lacerations leak wasted heat and fluid, as the body cools in a predictable manner
My assistant lubricates the thermo-couple probe, a massive 12-inch long chemical thermometer.
Freezing hold.
Corpse gone cold.
Cooling blood.
An icy flood.
The body a husk; its innards are spilt.
This ferocious anal probing causes no guilt.
A facet of my profession, this duty I've sworn.
I stab forth the thermometer as the anus is torn.
Environmental conditions of the crime scene are meticulously recorded
And the room temperature of the dissection room is dubiously noted
The core temperature of the carcass plummets through means of convection
Physical science triumphs over life as heat escapes through radiation.
Moritz's formula is the rule of thumb from which I can derive:
"98.6°F - rectal temperature ÷ 1.5"
This equation produces the time of death, though nothing is quite this ideal
Whether oral, rectal, brain or liver, I shall monitor the temperature with the greatest zeal.
This gelid method of detection has a cold-bloodedly frigid appeal
Observe the sanguine-streaked suppuration chill, pool, and congeal
Witness my barbarous severe intubation with unsanitized tools
Truculently sodomizing corps-icles, making purple raw recta drool...
Freezing hold.
Corpse gone cold.
Cooling blood.
An icy flood.
Postmortem interval, the mystery at hand.
Thrusting the probe past the prostate gland.
The carcass is conquered by deaths cold will.
Not even bactericidal rot can thwart its chill.
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