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SUPURATION LYRICS
"Incubation" (2003)
1. The Confusion [November]
2. The Old Mirror [December]
3. Incubation [January]
4. The Nameless Boys [February]
5. Witness To 3X3X3 [March]
6. The Fathers Gun [April]
7. Vertigo [May]
8. The Cocoon Sphere [June]
9. The Biological Clock [July]
1. The Confusion [November]
She : "Dear diary it's so stupid" Tears of fear coruscated my face Tears of joy course the length of my days Tainted blood tracks in my veins Bleak sadness, he will come soon Will I ever be Truly wholly free Of this agony? It's not left me, this blood of mine today What would you think of me, Mother, if I should say (If you should learn about my stains?) I can see your face, blackened with rage Twisted in hatred (denying the cage I have wrought.) My bliss drains... I wish I could say how I became this way! Stark fear He will come Now I want it Now I sense him Is he the one? Mother there are dark rings under your eyes Your hand raised to slap as you realise I wish I could say It would be okay. She (about her diary) : "...He (the embryon) thinks your a therapy...".
2. The Old Mirror [December]
I spy him through the old mirror Strange this, then, to me Face to face, it's him that I could see This was too much! My eyes clouded, darker, further Face in my hands Hands that would not dam Tears that burned. I will not magnify his image I wish I was still yet a child!
3. Incubation [January]
Now I am sure someone else is inside me Foetus: "...my brain I suppose?"
I search for him with all of my soul Surely my image is all he can see
As I speak of him all the time. He speaks to me with the tie that binds
His soft molten voice in my head Reverberates throughout the walls of my mind Storms my heart with its gentle song My mother is going to kill me... I would too if I was in her place She would not know what else to do. She (writing on her diary) : "...is another way to love me..."
he faceless ones who dole out pain Disguised in the pill we take as "life"
My soul entrapped, I strain again To free it from their torturous grind.
Foetus : "
.my brain I suppose.?.?..
4. The Nameless Boys [February]
Sex at night with nameless boys must go They hurt me with their promises
Like their names, their words are dust And left me bleeding in the street. I lie where no-one's been before Away from tawdry rooms and alleys Secure in knowing he is there To stay with me forever.
5. Witness To 3X3X3 [March]
Sixteen years since I've been home And now I'll never leave This edict given, cast in stone My universe is cubed, deceived.... Obscurity's the cloak I wear Six faces of my room will bear Witness to three by three by three All that they are I'll never be. My cube is glued to many more I see them fade towards horizon And in each one a soul is stored Grieving, peaceless isolation Human geometry, irreconciled The jigsaw of a giant child That keeps to rules of five and three And keep complete for all to see. The faces of my cube become me Loneliness is symmetry No self-volition : I have to see Myself reflected to the power of three. All hope is gone now, as if never had been Multispace turns silently vertiginous Parasite and paradise, my new hostfeeds And I listen, despairingly bilious. I twist in a helix : my destiny bound My will not my own, through true clarity found His coming is imminent: he speaks to me The pain is inevitable before he can be. Mindflash of mother Sadness a lether Situations snafu* Sensation of déjà vu... (* situation normal all fucked up).
6. The Fathers Gun [April]
Pain confines me to bed. To look beyond the angles Of this cube not a factor It's partition a cage in my head. I feel I'm afloat in my cell Held by a force that subsumes I'm stretched till I break Is it cuboid or spherical, this hell? And as if to confound me still more As to what shape and dimension it is The partition darkens Tll there was no real horizon at all I don't know who I am anymore What will now happen to me? I cannot now retrace my steps Backtrack to my blank safety I found my father's gun... A kick in my belly moves focus A message from foetus in morse But what can I do? The cube has all I have now but dust! My spirit as dark as this cage My eyes close to confirm shape now sphere! I collapse to the floor of this stage Another vision : A rose? A cradle? A coffin?
7. Vertigo [May]
Now, I know I am lost- My days are numbered, not powered It seems that my actions are clear Abdicating to fate at what cost? The gun in one hand My diary in the other. I am writing the words from my head There will be few more, eyes are closed I feel free, now I have chosen; The humanity in me near dead Foetus : "...that still be me!!..." I am safe in this sphere No pain in here... With eyes tight shut I can see, sixteen years ago Mother being just like me! Not alone anymore Free from pain of the past The suffering over These thoughts in the mind of the last... I follow orders, now I move to the light
From which I had fled for so long I follow his orders, ideas, sensations She : "to keep us always together..." There is nothing of me. Is there trial, judge and jury Beyond the nowtemporal I do not intend to stay here.
8. The Cocoon Sphere [June]
Foetus speaking to her : "Still trapped in here This cocoon sphere I'm bathing in this liquid clear Wait for her to have courage To bring us together. I do not want that life outside! There are so many things to hide From the shallow and the fickle When you're alone mankind means nothing Just like wind pushed through the trees, The void is total, bears no pleas. I want to stay inside warmday I'm isolated far away -All is dark here inside I'm being soothed by her heartbeat... Sometimes I speak my mind In my thoughts her I find She loves me, then I see A dim light flickening in front of me Glacial cold invades me, being eaten by the light It's as if I'll cease to be, nothing else matters
No will, no fight." -end of transmission-foetus'heartbeats.
9. The Biological Clock [July]
No chance to return to the world where I was born The moment has to be right-To move on into that dim light- I'm waiting forthe moment...
No wish to fall back into cubes and powers! My biological clock has a voice It's seems that it holds my last choice. It's time to reunite us.
The barrel of the gun on this rounded womb The spark of the life, inside me entombed I write my last thought Before I merge with this glimmer I sought That lives only in my mind. No turning away from the glean : It obsesses In ghastly mime I pull trigger first time I'm waiting to be free No anguish in me as I sprawl on the floor I use my last breath to end it all. I turn the gun towards my face Please grant me some warmth; evergrace She : "I I'm so sorry..." forgive me... She : "jesus..." I don't have the choice anymore... Forgive me, I'd rather die, remember me, goodbye...
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