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SLAOTVEAN LYRICS
"Pathos belonging to Darkness" (2000)
1. My Inner Torment
2. The Day of Morning (Anathemized)
3. Confined in a Space Whirling
4. For Funeral to Come
5. Pathos Belonging to Darkness
6. Realm of Dreams
1. My Inner Torment
Of course, I wanted it differently but nothing was favourable here.
Of course, I wanted to live a long time but nothing could attenuate my torment.
No one other that me could not consider it,
No one other that me had not cried it.
Nothing could change my destiny.
Nobody is to be blamed if it is not that which my which pained you...
From pain, I will not suffer any more. Of sadness, I will not live any more.
Thus I will be finally alleviated evil Which I so much pained.
Of course, I wanted it differently but nothing was favourable here.
Of course, I wanted to live a long time but nothing could attenuate my torment.
It is of this thirst for freedom that I will leave.
I liked and I was loved but alas, it was hardly enough.
Wounded and without hope, I could not carry on my road.
The end, the outcome, I created it.
Like the Master makes his work, I finish that which was started.
No one other that me could not consider it, no one other that me had not cried it.
Nothing could change my destiny.
Nobody is to be blamed if it is not that which my which pained you...
And you will follow me in my thoughts.
2. The Day of Morning (Anathemized)
"I'm defeated, tired to fight against this life.
I'm destroyed, no more forces in my body.
I can't say that I'm deceived of myself
because I've done all I could done. "
Here I am, on my own, to feel.
I blame my illusions, to heal.
"I don't know how it could be if things have been different.
But I'm still proud of who I am.
I can say that I've lived what I had to live."
Ashamed of my past, I drift.
Melancholy in my sadness, I let run tears of my eyes.
I am disappointed by my life, that which I live, and that to come.
In the bowels of my feelings, light is no more.
Suffocating my emotions, dying of remorse.
I lay on the pathetic path of my misery.
Dispassionate for life, I'm cursed by my thoughts.
I want to eclipsed my life. Sacrificing myself for my freedom.
"Denying that I've never dreamed to another existence is false.
Denying that I've never hoped another way of life is false."
I’m tired to see, to live on my knees.
The blade on my wrist will lead me into infinity.
Anathematized by darkness, I choose to let me annihilate
to no more be the one I am.
I should kill myself, no other way to achive inner peace
I’ll no longer hear my tears, I’ll no longer hear me... live.
Je n’ai jamais compris pourquoi je suis celui qui est atteint de cette plaie.
Pourquoi moi ? Suis-je damné pour être né ou c’est simplement ma destiné...
Qu’ai-je fais ?
Here I am, on my own, To feel.
I blame my illusions, To give me a good reason to kill myself.
3. Confined in a Space Whirling
I am an entity lost in it’s own space I’m waiting patiently.
Like a leaf on the ocean immensity I am letting myself float away.
Eyes up to the sky, bend on my knees Mind fullfilled of darkness.
No control on my will No control on my life.
I’m confined in a space whirling.
I can't move, I am letting me moved away.
Eternal circles, eternal darkness.
I’m falling into deeps
I wanna look up to the sky and scream who am I.
To taste the delight of angels .
One day I’ll maybe see the light on me...
Illuminated, I’ll only have to follow the way.
Then I’ll (maybe) discover another form of pain.
Because I’ll whirl for eternity.
Without pity, I’m confined in a space whirling.
4. For Funeral to Come
From the past to the future, my dreams will always remains the same.
Like if my mind was drowning, I am lost within my soul.
Without will to live, my destiny lays on dead roses thorns.
I await my fire aureole ... For Funeral to come.
Tired of suffering, I wait a deliverance that the death can bring me.
As the river of my consciousness, tears are under my eyes.
Without will to live, my destiny lays on death roses thorns.
I await my fire aureole ... For Funeral to come.
"In the dark, I’ll be lulled by the silence.
I’ll be dreaming... until I would see a light"
My heart is bleeding because I know you loved me.
I’m so sorry... but I was already dead .
I was the ghost that you know. I’m now the ghost You’ll forget…after some time.
5. Pathos Belonging to Darkness
As I can see, I’m not accepted in this reality.
But where should I be ? Where should I live to not be alone like here ?
I’m bored of this lonelyness.
I never dreamed to be alone but that doesn’t mean I want to be with someone else.
Fights
I’m fighting with my mind for days and days.
No truce is not on my fucking way.
I’m here for so long and I know it’ll never change...
What can I try or do to fix my faith ?
No entity or suprem lord can hold me to the inner peace that I expect.
Lights
No light is on my fucking way.
My mind push happiness far away.
To myself I don’t want to lie, I just want to die now…
"To the open arms of the death, I’m slowly walking.
I’m engaged on the path of darkness where I’ll no more be awake"
Pathos belonging to darkness, I can’t hear the silence in my head.
No more pulse to keep me alive…anyway, I’m tired to try.
Why should I stay to live for others, Why should I stay to make them feel better ?
I’m not egocentic, it’s only my life.
I guess you would do the same if you would live my pain.
"Goodbye cruel world, I’m leaving the shit which I was submitted.
Here it’s not my place. Believe me, I must go away...
I’ll do what I always should do, I’ll do want I always wanted to do.
Then I’ll be free…then I’ll be free"
Pathos belonging to darkness, I’ll hear the silence in my head.
No longer need to live.
That
That will be the end of me.
Will you remember what I done, will you remember who I was ?
6. Realm of Dreams
Of a deep sleep, I woke up.
I have of memory only for what I believed to see.
Dubious, I imagine the outcome, the end.
But my lack of imagination will kill my passion.
However I was there and I lived there.
They was marvellous but I am not happier.
Because I lost what I had at this moment.
Taste of living without resentment.
Why have I forgot what I lived.
I’m sad because it was surely better.
Sadness, sorrow, remorse ,sighs.
It was to be what I always dreamed.
To have the force to look far.
To live without looking behind me.
No more thinking of what I don’t have.
To say to me that it is not so badly.
That there is worse everywhere around me.
But I am that which suffers.
Miserly of my sadness, egocentric of my happiness.
I need to be pleased soon or I’ll die.
My heart is already dead and I feel my soul is leaving .
I will never see the light on my path.
It is ironic, because nobody is really happy.
We are all behind a mask.
The being that we are and that which we want to be.
Which one do we really know.
I am surely single and I wish it.
Because if I am not only thus, I have pity for you.
Living without taste of living.
Living without living.
I am tired to try, I cannot about it more.
That does not result with nothing, it is not worth sorrow.
I am not and I will be never be
someone who does not have any regret.
Of an eternal life, I don’t want anything.
Of a life of sorrow, I don’t want any more.
Of a life, I want to be unchained.
Of my life, I will be separated.
Let me only see what I missed.
I want to know what I was supposed to live.
I cannot be saved.
Thus the life has been given to me.
Without having to ask it, I had it.
But now, I don’t want it any more.
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