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SKYCLAD LYRICS
"Oui Avant-Garde A Chance" (1996)
1. If I Die Laughing it'll be an Act of God
2. Great Blow for a Day Job
3. Constance Eternal
4. Postcard from Planet Earth
5. Jumping My Shadow
6. Bombjour!
7. History Lessens (The Final Examination)
8. A Badtime Story
9. Come on Eileen (Dexy's Midnight Runners cover)
10. Master Race (New Model Army cover)
11. Bombed-Out (Instru-Mental)
12. Penny Dreadful (Full Shilling Mix)
1. If I Die Laughing it'll be an Act of God
It's revelation reveals -
divine comedy (and more),
please welcome your four hosts -
death, famine, pestilence and war.
You say that we are all Gods' children, can you please explain -
how any father could inflict his children so much pain.
I'm sure he finds it funny - but I fail to see the joke,
I bet he'll piss his breeches when we all go up in smoke.
Life's one big disaster, I hear the sound of laughter coming from the hereafter, (I find it kind of odd)
we're stooges for Jehova, he loves to knock us over - so if I die laughing it'll be an act of God!
Thunderbolts were once his style
It's now malignant tumours,
I wonder what he'll think of next
to test my sense of humour?
You said I must accept his will - that God will spare the weak,
I bet those tears aren't tears of laughter running down your cheeck -
when you are stood right there beside me (egg upon your face),
your precious soul floats with the dust back home in outer space.
2. Great Blow for a Day Job
Hear my tale - I'm norman normal, always humble, mild and meek.
In my bank a lowly banker - run-down brach on nowhere street
'till one day a stranger called - a fetid bible black he laughed,
said "Sonny I don't want your money, I don't need an overdraft.
Boy you have a great potential, don't you let it go to waste.
My offer ends - so it's essential that you hurry on (make haste!).
For a life of milk and honey sign along the dotted line...
Thirty years of girls and money - at the end your soul is mine!"
No one can dissuade me - I'm donw on my knees,
my conscience says "No" - my libido "Yes please!"
If I put my pen to paper for eternity I'm damned.
If I don't I'll never be the singer in a fiddel band.
Can anyone blame me? - I don't think they'd dare,
my soul says "No way" - But my mouth cries "Oh yeah!"
Here I am - your good friend norman, not so humble anymore.
Others age - but I look younger, stronger that I did before.
I used to drive a Fiat Panda - now a lime green Cadillac.
Guess my story goes to show not all the 'devils' own' dig black.
I know there is a price I must pay for my thirty years misspent,
when my satanic manager recoups my soul (100%).
I'll meet him at the crossroads, midnight chimes - my time has come
to party with the 'porno-queens' down by the shores of acheron.
I'll party on in acheron!
No one could dissuade me - I fell to my kness,
my conscience said "No" - my libido "Yes please!"
I have put my pen to paper and eternally am damned,
I've squandered my immortal soul by singing in a fiddle band.
Could anyone blame me? - I don't think they dare,
my soul said "No way" - but my mouth cried "Oh yeah!"
'Evil I did dwell - Lewd did I live' -
It's a small price to pay for the gift that he gives.
Was it all worth it? - I'm too drunk to tell,
I swap my cocaine for the brimstone of hell.
The end.
3. Constance Eternal
On wednesday the seventh your flight departed,
you waved us goodbye - we stood on the ground
as one journey ended another one started -
you passes overhead (your wings made no sound)
This world's just a rock - mow a little bit lighter,
for me there's a void where your smile once shone.
A new star is born far bigger and brighter
than all of the others - that's where you have gone.
Over the stormclouds you float high above me,
knelt in the dojo we offered a prayer.
Yassi was smiling - you saw how she loves me,
I'm sure you look forward to meeting her there....
One with the light that was sent here to guide you,
forgotten the cripple asleep in her chair.
You dance hand in hand - Bernard standing beside you,
you're Ginger Rogers and he's Fred Astaire.
Constance in eternity,
Constance in eternity,
Constance eternal.
4. Postcard from Planet Earth
Sorry it has been so long since you received my last transmission,
meanwhile I've studied them - learned about their strange condition.
Now I think I understand why they live in such confusion,
sadly they'll never change - I have come to this conclusion....
Planet Earth is great to visit - It's great to visit
(but you wouldn't want to live there.)
I am the mariner who navigates seas celestial,
astronaut ambassador sent to foreign shores terrestrial.
Now with hindsight I admit I don't admire the humans' lot,
frail bodies - fragile, ill equipped, their lives are hard (but they are not).
Planet Earth is great to visit - It's great to visit
(but you wouldn't want to live there.)
And when you know the ways of men
then you can only pity them,
every day a raging storm -
castaway in a carbon based life form.
I've wandered far (I've wondered hard) and have one source of comfort only -
when I share my thoughts with you mortality is not so lonely.
Countless starts between us - myriad the things I miss,
I say farewell and think of home, the static drowns my parting kiss.
Planet Earth is great to visit - It's great to visit
(but you wouldn't want to live there.)
And as your signal slowly wanes -
the fears return (my growing pains),
here it is for what it's worth -
yet another postcard from planet Earth.
Now with hindsight I admit I don't admire the humans' lot,
frial bodies - ill equipped, their lives are hard (but they are not).
Planet Earth is great to visit - It's great to visit
(but you wouldn't want to live there.)
And when you know the ways of men
then you can only pity them,
every day a raging storm -
castaway in a carbon based life form.
Planet Earth is great to visit - It's great to visit
(but you wouldn't want to live there.)
5. Jumping My Shadow
["And ever has it been that love knows not it's own depth]
[until the hour of separation." - Kahlil Gibran]
Maybe someday someone will love me
for what I am (instead of what I should be.)
Until that day I'll just sit here weeping,
chasing dreams is like shadow leaping.
The face behind the mirror - an unrecognised reflection,
his eyes look old and tired - filled with bitter recollection.
The cross that he has carried was a burden I have made,
It's a baptism of tears - they are the seas in which I bathe.
'Cause there's a fire in my heart - but I can't breathe for the smoke,
seems that I'm living proof my life's a practical joke.
There's a wind in my sails (but I have lost all my direction),
with no stars to guide me now you're not here beside me anymore.
Somehow, somewhere you will discover
a love so sweet that it tasted like no other,
and on that day may you both drink deep
from that grail we found - but then failed to keep.
It's a season I've learned well - some things just cannot be,
the key that will unlock your soul is someone else (not me).
If you should remember - hope you smile and wish me well,
as I walk my path to heaven through ten thousand miles of hell.
I stand alone against the cold grey sky,
it was blue that day (but not as blue as I).
I left my hearts high on that Roman hill,
I'll wait a thousand years but it will be there still.
Holding hands in silence as the day came to an end,
we climbed up there as lovers - then we walked back down just friends.
I've know my share of heartaches, never thought of them as bad -
but had never quite imagined I could ever feel this sad.
6. Bombjour!
Hello, bombjour!
Good morning (good morning).
The obvious drawback in building a bomb,
is the needing somewhere (or someone) to test it on.
What happened to European Community?
Consciences with diplomatic immunity.
Find a new toy that's more safe than the atom -
the face of a clown with Napoleon's hat on.
Did you really mean it ? - you've got to be joking,
too late to say sorry (the gun barrel's smoking).
Our hope for the future is clear understanding,
but you're still afraid that the Martians are landing.
The 'Reds' neath our beds appear far more attractive
than waking up dead in the radioactive debris.
Frere Jacques Chirac dormez-vous?
You said it's quite harmless - well I beg your pardon,
why didn't you try it in your own back garden?
Whatever became of would peace and goodwill?
Don't sharpen the blade if you don't mean to kill.
Your knowledge has limits (your folly's unending),
are you insane - or just good at pretending to be?
7. History Lessens (The Final Examination)
Look what you get for following leaders,
who lead from the rear - where are they now ?
What did we learn in history lessons ?
How to sit quiet at the back of a class.
With so many things open to question,
it's too late to cry - there's no-one to ask.
Life's an education - a multiple equation,
everybody finds their own solution in the end.
"To be or not to be" is a very lengthy question,
has somebody please got a sharpened pencil they can lend ?
Marching in time down a production line,
what did that teach you 'bout life in the dole-queue ?
The Law of Relativity - (life's relative misery)
The Law of Probability - (it's probably contrived)
Newton's Law of Gravity - (we face a grave reality)
The law that rules the jungle - (only the strong survive)
The path of least resistance - a bland text book existance,
don't expect to find the answers printed at the back.
The only sound advice that's carried me through life -
when the cards are stacked against you, play the joker in the pack.
8. A Badtime Story
Look what I got for Valentine's Day:
Lady Luck came along, took my dreams away,
And the tears hurt more than a broken nose -
I bled from the thorns of a barbed-wire rose.
I know that I'm supposed to pray
Thanking God for each new day.
Would it disturb his master plan
To one day be a happy man?
I've tried to be positive, tried to be nice.
I've turned the other cheek so I'd get hurt twice.
I've forced a smile, I've dropped my guard
I've seized the day but it bit me hard.
Life's too short, but long enough to gain
The cap and gown of misery, suffering and pain.
No need to read my diary to see what lies before me -
Just another chapter in my Badtime Story.
The end of love and laughter
now we're happy never after.
My next birthday will, I fear
Be much the same as every year.
Inside the wrapping there
Are a few more wrinkles and a little less hair.
Another Autumn leaf is turning,
One more soul for candle-burning.
Hid beneath the sham and glitter
I taste a cake that's stale and bitter.
I've tried to be positive, tried to be nice.
I've turned the other cheek so I'd get hurt twice.
I've forced a smile, I've dropped my guard
I've seized the day but it bit me hard.
Life's too short, but long enough to gain
The cap and gown of misery, suffering and pain.
No need to read my diary to see what lies before me -
Just another chapter in my Badtime Story.
On my Christmas card last year it said:
"So sorry, Santa Claus is dead.
Crawl into the oven when you've had enough
'Cos it keeps sitting here quietly waiting to be stuffed."
What a festive way to go
Here beneath the mistletoe,
With open eyes and an open wrist
To vanish from your Christmas list.
I've tried to be positive, tried to be nice.
I've turned the other cheek so I'd get hurt twice.
I've forced a smile, I've dropped my guard
I've seized the day but it bit me hard.
Life's too short, but long enough to gain
The cap and gown of misery, suffering and pain.
No need to read my diary to see what lies before me -
Just another chapter in my Badtime Story.
9. Come on Eileen (Dexy's Midnight Runners cover)
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
He moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers
Come on Eileen, well I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen
These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces
They're so resigned to what their fate is
But not us, no not us
We are far too young and clever
Eileen I'll sing this tune forever
Come on Eileen well I swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah come on Eileen
10. Master Race (New Model Army cover)
Well we all learned how to use a fork and knife
How sometimes we have to wear a suit and tie
And understand these things are what give us this right
To go around the world acting superior
We live with missles and the armaments cash
With rewritten histories and a fictional past
And though some of us still have questions to ask
The ship she sails without a captain
Goddam this master race
that we're born in
Goddam this howling wolf
that we're serving
I've had it up to here...
The opposition, we ain't doing so well
I understadning is weak and our knowledge is small
And though kids scrawl frustration on the back street wall
Most of them can't even spell basatard
Goddam this master race
that we're born in
Goddam this howling wolf
that we're serving
Sometimes all I know is that cold wind blows
Down the valley from the mountain snows
On these muggy nights I lie awake
waiting for the thunder and the skies to break
But they are god and they are strong
And the can name the right and the wrong
And they reclaim the things they own
They call us now...
So candy please forgive these things that I've done
When the master race calls I know sometime that I run
And you mean more to me now than you ever did before
As I try to stay away from their clutches
Goddam this master race
that we're born in
Goddam this howling wolf
that we're serving
11. Bombed-Out (Instru-Mental)
12. Penny Dreadful (Full Shilling Mix)
Forgive me if I'm out of order -
this new "music" has no soul.
It may be good for making money,
(sadly that is not my goal).
Integrity and honesty are words that you don't understand,
but you're the best - it says so in the penny dreadful in your hand.
I saw you in the magazine,
they're calling you messiah.
They must be living in a dream -
they couldn't be more wrong.
If we'd played this riff more punk,
than may be we'd have had a million seller.
But this piper's tune is not for sale,
(I'm glad to say I'm not that kind of fella).
D.J.s, V.J.s, pimps and trollops,
never mind music - this is bollocks.
I saw you in the magazine,
they're calling you messiah.
They must be living in a dream -
they couldn't be more wrong.
Turn on, tune up, cash in, sell out.
Turn on, tune up, cash in, sell out.
Stand your ground behind the times -
and refuse to follow fassion.
Write your poetry with anger,
(and then sing it with a passion).
Painted faces in a circus - images that spring to mind,
when I read my penny dreadful filled with pictures of your kind.
I saw you in the magazine,
they're calling you messiah.
They must be living in a dream -
they couldn't be more wrong.
Commercial suicide's appealing after
ten years on this losing streak.
'Cause I'd rather be called sour and bitter
than be deemed the flavour of the weak.
I saw you in the magazine,
they're calling you messiah.
They must be living in a dream -
they couldn't be more wrong.
Extra, extra, read all about it!
I saw you in the magazine,
they're calling you messiah.
They must be living in a dream -
they couldn't be more wrong.
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