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PENANCE LYRICS
"Proving Ground" (1999)
1. Proving Ground
2. Cloudless
3. Transcending
4. Dead Already
5. Bitter
6. Pain
7. Never Lost
8. Cast In Grey
9. Bleed You
10. Circle #9
11. Slipping...
1. Proving Ground
Obsessed with this therapy
It's a reflection of self
My motivation is clear
It's just how I felt
This machine that I've created
Really pulls me through
Like no other
For no other
It's just for me... maybe you
Sometimes I'm on the outside
Looking in on empty lives
I may not think like you
I've got my own mind
Cause in the end all the matters
Is that I've lived life my own way
And that I can look myself in the mirror
In the end will you say the same?
I feel at home... In my own... Proving Ground
I feel at home... In my own... Proving Ground
Obsessed with this therapy
It's a reflection of self
My motivation is clear
It's just how I felt
This machine that I've created
Really pulls me through
Like no other
For no other
It's just for me... maybe you
I feel at home... In my own... Proving Ground
I feel at home... In my own... Proving Ground
2. Cloudless
Breathing in this life I'm livin' yeah
The taste is bitter sweet
All the hardships endured
I anticipate
The time when I'm solid
Looking past the downpours
To a day that's cloudless
Now, each day I pray
The turmoil will pass
I'm hoping that today is the day
That there'll be no more stress
Or any pain
And I will hear your laughter once again
Looking past the downpours
To a day that's cloudless
Now the darkness has gone
And we've said goodbye
But I won't forget no matter how I try
And today is so bright
And your smile's like the sun
Bringing the world back to life again
I've weathered the storms
And today is cloudless
3. Transcending
The astral doors are opening
Bidding me to step on through
A cosmic finger points the way
Past skies of black and seas of doom
Transcending now this mortal form
Solar sailing on stellar waves
My soul has gone beyond time itself
Mind expanding through celestial terrain
Distant landscapes appear - yet I have no fear
Spinning through the vortex of mystic light and sound
The answers lie before me the questions yet to be found
Lost and found adrift in a lunar sea
Looking down at Earth and the life I used to lead
Myriad dreams in multi-color
Leading me past Saturn's rings
Translucid spectrum like no other
Secrets of God unraveling
4. Dead Already
Crawling through your mind
A cancer on the inside
Spreading sickness 'til no life remains
You let me gain a foothold
Now, I'll never let go
I will choke your spirit down to its last breath
You are dead already
I'm just placing pennies on your eyes
I'm the immoral
The one corrupting your soul
But my work's made easier with a some help from you
Your fear of living
Led you to your end
What is life, my friend, when you only look to death?
You are dead already
I'm just placing pennies on your eyes
Broken... Dying... Rotting
Your life is nothing!
Broken... Dying... Rotting
Your life's worth nothing!
5. Bitter
When the night is gettin' old
And the air is gettin' colder
You know I'll never fold up
I turn my back on fear...
As I lie awake alone
And the voices come to taunt me
Every night another haunting
Driving me beyond my years...
When sleep finally flies me away
Under crimson clouds of pain
All my regrets have taken shape
As bitter tears that fall like rain
Hey - I think I'm ready
To confront the things in life that are haunting me
Hey - If it takes me all my days
I'll drive away the bitter tears of pain
Phantoms of what could have been
Now come to tempt my soul to sin
Dark purple mountains of misery
Bring the weight of the world on me
Hey - I think I'm ready
To confront the things in life that are haunting me
Hey - If it takes me all my days
I'll drive away the bitter tears of pain
So tired of the pain - the never ending strain
It's time I made the change
It's time to rearrange...
'Cause I - I think I'm ready
To confront the things in life that are haunting me
Hey - If it takes me all my days
I'll drive away the bitter tears of...
Pain
6. Pain
Emotions rise like wisps of smoke
Too soon to dissipate
Warm days now blowing colder
Sunny days all turn to grey
Solitude can bring on peace
Or a piece of loneliness
Drifting on a jaded sea
Losing what I thought was me
The sound of silence is deafening
Screaming from every pore
Overwhelming me
Don't want to feel no more
Holding hope when there's none
Living in a world of no love
Crying out in vain
The only thing that's left is...
PAIN
I've come to know you so many times
In so many ways
The more things change the more they stay the same
Oh how I love this little game
What delight! In the dead of night
With you at my side
I've come to love this feeling of
What you bring to me inside
Lying, writhing this agony
From the depths of night
I lay my head in solitude
Like I'm the only one alive
Reserve myself to the fact
That nothing's ever gonna change
Embrace this hell I know so well
Oh how I love you PAIN
Nothing lasts
And nothing is real
Nothing lasts
Life is surreal
7. Never Lost
All through life
Whatever I've been dealt
I've taken it in stride
And I've always felt
Sure of myself
Confident with pride
Rode through it all
Grounded from inside
Always
Even through
The adversity
I never let the pain
Break the will in me
It made me stronger
Set more my beliefs
All I have is what I am
And that's all I'll ever need
Always
Stand your ground
With yourself intact
Surround yourself with love
It always comes back
Always
Always
8. Cast In Grey
Gaunt figures of a dismal world
Cast in grey with tattered flags unfurled
Gone beyond just me and you
The perfect symmetry of being ripped in two
Blue is the color of life
While you're cast in grey
All the years of tomorrow
That are gone today
Pallid shadows of a sight unseen
Revealing truths of the machine
Gossamer wings that could never fly
Paint new horizons for you and I
Blue is the color of life
While you're cast in grey
All the years of tomorrow
That are gone today
Heaven sends
And Hell awaits
With patience
Smile at you with rage
As I emerge from
Hatred
Lying in wait unbridled fury
Laced with self-titled glory
Crimson tides and ashen dreams
Will rise above make you believe
Moonlight backdrop of one dimension
Multi-layers of my invention
Weaving spells cast to the wind
Reliving things that could have been
9. Bleed You
Sometimes I wanna cut myself
So you'll flow out of my veins
The kiss that tainted my blood
Is beating down my heart again
I want to bleed you from my heart
I want to bleed you from my veins
I want to kill you... in my mind
I want to bleed away the pain
These days the colors fade to grey
All my hope and dreams now melt away
Lost soul in turmoil crying out
I'm wrenching out my guts again
I want to bleed you from my heart
I want to bleed you from my veins
I want to kill you... in my mind
I want to bleed away the pain
Why won't you die???
10. Circle #9
This mortal path I tread its trials are killing me
As swirling winds of change now blow inside of me
And clouds of ash have blinded eyes that once could see
The path to happiness that lies in front of me
Looking down at circle number nine
Where my soul will fly
Circle number nine
The temporary light you've shown upon my heart
Kaleidoscoping stars obscure the obvious
The longer I embrace that which can never be
The more the tongues of fire reach out to lash at me
Looking down at circle number nine
Where my soul will fly
Circle number nine
I'm looking out from circle number nine?
Where my soul resides
Circle number nine
Looking up from circle number nine?
Where my soul resides
Circle number nine...
11. Slipping...
I, too, hear the cracking
The fury of the wind
The sound of everything crumbling
And fear it will not mend
You are one I've known forever
Yet your face has changed
Your soul is somehow different
Its aura rearranged
I've let too much slip through
And dread you'll finally see
This darkness I've been hiding
Deep inside of me
My total lust for chaos
and confusion that I feel
Pain, suffering, and misery
And demons all too real
The end is drawing near
And no one seems to care
Things have come and gone before
There's no need to shed a tear
All the warnings go ignored
As the final curtain falls
I feel nothing and I fear the same
As I stare straight into the sun
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