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MOKER LYRICS
"Translating the Pain" (2007)
1. Intro
2. Manic Existence
3. Your Dark Self
4. My World Decays
5. Another Lost Soul
6. Am I Falling Into the Claws of the Lurking Death-Traps?
7. False Reality
8. Broken Silence
9. Stuck In A Pattern
10. Last Note
1. Intro
2. Manic Existence
Darkness suffocates us, feel its cold embrace.
Taking all of its evil, grins and rips your face.
Wallow in loneliness, gather up my pain.
Walk along my thoughts, pray that you stay sane.
Come along with me, dance with all the clowns.
Subtly torture our victims, smiles painted over frowns.
This is my manic existence!
Feel my manic existence!
Follow manic existence!
Hail my manic existence!
Manic existence. Floating above.
We're one big family inside this very sick mind.
We kill just for the fun, I hope you don't mind.
I think I'm gonna kill you but I don't know how.
Maybe I'll slowly burn you or peal you inside out.
Why I love this manic existence?
I will take little bites as you slowly die.
Laugh at you during my meal as you wonder why.
I wonder what it’s like, knowing you're going to die.
Perhaps I'll have more fun breaking your arms and legs, please let me try.
Shut the fuck up before you feel the numb.
Then I take my gun and blow away your groin.
Lots of painful tears pour from your lost eyes.
It's not too late to say your final good-byes.
I see the fear in your eyes!
I shove the gun in your mouth and pull back the trigger.
Your head bends over. Yes, there goes my finger.
Fall the fuck back and relax, savor all the dreadful pain.
Look upon the black rainbow and please don't make a terrible stain.
I hope you enjoyed your visit, inside this mind of working gears.
You're welcome back anytime. So y'all come back now ya hear!
3. Your Dark Self
You choose to hide in the shadows of your shattered mind.
Bringing forth the blackness with all its tempting fears.
You look in the dark and nothing is there.
Maybe it’s the demon that will haunt your soul.
Let yourself get lost in the powers of that fright.
You’ll find the bottom of your blackened heart.
You want to walk the other side of life.
Let others taste the tears you’ve cried.
The need in you will not subside.
So to the dark you run and hide.
This is what keeps you sane.
You welcome all the pain.
You take the darkness, as your only source of light.
You accepted the darkness, as the one you kiss goodnight.
You know the darkness, as only the devil could.
You touch the darkness, and it makes you feel so good.
Dark thoughts hold a power.
Into the darkness, you wander in your broken mind.
As long there’s darkness. You’ll survive!
Through the eyes of sadness. You’ll get by!
Push yourself in the shadows.
In the darkness forever bound.
You’ll lurk at the same place.
Never to be found.
The need in you will not subside.
So to the dark you run and hide.
This is what keeps you sane.
You welcome all the pain.
Your soul is dark!
4. My World Decays
Welcome to my sick world.
Step inside if you dare.
Watch out for the pure darkness.
Witch will sweep your insides bare.
That’s right my world decays.
Look at the dark shades of grey.
As despair fills me within.
Lost is how I feel, because of that I bow and kneel.
Release me from this life, anything to end this tormented strife.
Wishing I could leave this place and forget all my escapades.
Hoping for a little chance to free myself from pain.
I fade away into the dust where I chose to rise from.
To take my own life is my lust. That is what I want to do.
Lost is how I feel, because of that I bow and kneel.
Release me from this life, anything to end this tormented strife
My world decays.
Crying from the pain. Waiting for eternal sleep.
You’ll never shed the pain that goes down so deep.
Slowly all my dreams are drowned out by the sound,
of my own frightened screams which come pure from the heart.
Take me to my deathsleep.
Where I bleed, where I weep.
My world ends here, as I dry my tears.
There’s nobody near, alone with my fear.
Crying from the pain. Waiting for eternal sleep.
You’ll never shed the pain that goes down so deep.
Welcome to my world.
I’d warn you not to stay.
While you can still leave,
turn and run away.
This is my sick world.
Step inside if you dare.
5. Another Lost Soul
I walk down this lonely road of life.
Numbed from the pain and hate I try to strive.
I hate the world I have to see,
but most of all, I hate the person ME.
The sight of blood, the feeling of pain.
This is but a little of the obsession that reigns.
I go through the dark times in my life.
It’s so hard that my last resort is the knife.
Running away in the stillness of time.
Slicing my arm, it’s a long red line.
Dragging the smooth silver, letting it slide.
Feel the open cut from far inside.
Pierce the skin, cut the red vein.
Free myself from the awful pain.
My breath is now slipping away, everything turns so pitch black.
The blade overtook my strength and to my life I can’t turn back.
My mind is so full of hate, it makes me wish I could disintegrate.
Inching closer sinking into despair. Nothing would change if I were not there.
I lick my blood and suck the wound.
It taste so sweet, I’m in the mood.
I need no help just leave me be.
As my wrist flows on free.
I bleed, show the world what I have inside.
I scream, the blood flows that keeps me alive.
I feel, the emotions overcome my soul.
I fall, down into the deepest hole.
Found in the dark that never dies. I can’t seem to control my cries.
I fade and die. End of life!
Thick red blood is running out.
Death is coming without a doubt.
I laugh when I feel the pain.
Why live, I have nothing to gain.
As I take one final breath.
I know I’m going to be dead.
6. Am I Falling Into the Claws of the Lurking Death-Traps?
Death comes to us all. No matter how hard I fight for my own life.
The lust to give away my soul. The death collector won’t take it on hold.
Am I falling into the claws of the lurking death-trap?
Knowing that severe torment is destined for my special kind.
Am I falling into the claws of the lurking death-trap?
Visions of horror admits the corridors of my mind.
Death manifests itself, it kills and mains. Feel the presence grow.
The dark is where I’m going to dwell. No longer can I see, as death wants it to be.
I’m dying inside but I won’t life forever.
I’m crying inside, I got to hold together.
Sucking the spirit from your soul.
The presence invades your brain like mole.
Falling (into the) death-trap. My life ends here.
Sinking (into the) darkness. Memories fade away.
There’s nothing to gain.
See the suffer in my eyes, so many sleepless nights.
I’m falling down this hole, sinking farther down.
I want to scream out loud but silence is all you hear.
Now it’s time to take my past and make it all disappear.
Reaper of life!
Tears begin to flood from my eyes.
My body shakes as I start to fall.
Tangled and twisted feelings all unwind.
My heart is dead with no demand.
I’m falling into the trap. Past the eyes of death.
I’m falling from the surface. Give me a peaceful rest.
I could not hold on. Now I’m dead and gone.
So quickly I couldn’t see. What the fuck happened to me.
I’ve fallen into the trap. Past the eyes of death.
Death comes to us all. No matter how hard I fight for my own life.
The lust to give away my soul. The death collector won’t take it on hold.
Am I falling into the claws of the lurking death-trap?
Knowing that severe torment is destined for my special kind.
I‘ve fallen into the claws of the lurking death-trap.
Visions of horror admits the corridors of my mind.
7. False Reality
False reality.
A light in the darkness shines for all to see.
You can never know what will really be.
A friendship ended with no hope in sight.
You better give up, you can win this fight.
Shutting off all your emotions can’t let yourself feel.
Because then all this pain would somehow be real.
Pouring out these frustrations, please release your dread.
While your evil and wicked thoughts drain out of your head.
False Reality.
Watch from the distance, you can’t come near.
Watch all your faith shatter and disappear.
Pretend you don’t care and crush all your hope,
then you will have no reason to cope.
False Reality.
Your thoughts make no sense, you are so confused.
Left in a total mess. Deal with the mental abuse.
False Reality.
False reality of everything that seems so likely real.
But in reality is nothing but a fallacy.
What will now exist and what can be controlled?
8. Broken Silence
9. Stuck In A Pattern
Screaming in silence, dying all alone.
How could you give me a broken heart?
Everything was just fine from the start.
But now I know you, I know your game.
How do you walk with the burden of shame?
Running far away, leaving this mess.
No place called home.
My mind is in turmoil, that’s driving me insane.
It’s never at ease.
I fall way behind, there’s nothing to grasp.
Always trying to please.
I love you and I hate you, I decided we are through.
You destroyed my heart.
Ripped it and than tossed it.
You broke my heart.
Suffering on the inside, letting go of lies.
I’m stuck in a pattern that I can’t shake.
You sit by and watch it break.
The dark thoughts they take over.
The truth no one will know.
I stumble through each day, barely scraping by.
I travel in circles and fall far behind.
Losing my sanity, losing my mind.
Bitch, I really hate you I wish for you to die.
That’s all I think about every time I close my eyes.
You’re so oblivious.
You don’t see what you do, you always hurt me.
And you don’t have a clue.
I can’t take it anymore! I want to give in!
I’ve told you once and now I’m telling you twice.
This is the last time I’m gonna say it. Stay the fuck out of my life!
You’re always right and I’m always wrong.
You think you’re perfect and I just don’t belong.
It isn’t worth it, this is too much pain.
I want to watch you burn in hell and hear your screams of agony.
I want to see you torn apart by the demons in your soul.
No one can fix what you have done
The anger inside me, I can’t repress.
I want your life to be ruined!
10. Last Note
Yo listen up. This song goes out to Rodney Hulin.
He was a prisoner in Texas, hung himself on January 26, 1996.
Before that he wrote a suicide letter. This is what he wrote.
To: all my family, friends that I ever knew,
it’s been very difficult to live a good stable live.
From the very beginning when a was a small child,
I was abused sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically by my father.
But I forgive him for what he has done in my life.
I can’t live mistreated, lied and stolen from.
Most of all being hurt for all the things you have done.
I’ve been behind bars for 8 year of my life.
From the very beginning when I was a small child,
I was abused sexually and physically by my father.
I’m very sorry to end my life this way
but if I don’t do this someone else surely will.
I truly regret all the shit I’ve said.
I wish that I could take it all back.
but in the end I will be better off dead.
I’m very sorry to end my life this way.
I truly regret all the shit I’ve said.
I wish that I could take it all back.
I’m saying I rather die on my free will
than be killed, that’s why I must do this.
Before I go, when I say being hurt, I found forgiveness.
For those who have hurt me in my life.
Which has been a very short one, only 17 fucking years,
since I was placed in prison July 31.
I have found myself to be more mental and emotionally
destroyed than I have ever been caused by these four walls.
I want all of my family, friends including my current girlfriend
Misty Mosher, to know that I love them all even after this cruel act.
I wish I could be with you all but spiritually I definitely am.
I’m very sorry to hurt all of you this way.
That’s why I wrote this last note.
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