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MATT LEE LYRICS
"Out Of Exile" (2004)
1. From The Void
2. I Remain
3. Return To Exile
4. Corinthian Black
5. Broken Affinity
1. From The Void
Reaching out...
Reaching out from the void
Towards a world without compassion
Searching through the shadows for a reason
As empty isolation reigns
What have I become?
Where will I find salvation?
In Silence
In Darkness
In Weakness
In Blindness
Forsaken
Still seeking
To find there's nothing left to reach for
Reaching out from the void towards a world without-
Searching through the shadows for-
A Reason to Believe
2. I Remain
Once I offered you the chance
To be the one to bridge the gap between
My silent world of shattered screams
And your utopia of normalcy
Give it a chance they said
But when do I run out?
So many failures wear you down
Why am I the sacrifice
The one to bear the doubt?
How do you turn a sinking ship around?
Keep your darkness you said
I'm too afraid of the shadows in your head
The places where reality bends
Through your fear, through my pain
Through empty isolation's reign
So without you, I remain
Time moves faster without change
A life passes quickly
When everything remains the same
Fighting isn't always physical
And I'm at war
Everyone searches
But no one knows what they're looking for
Keep your madness she said
Your depth isn't worth the earth we tread
So many of us could be better off dead
Too optimistic to become sane
Without loss, without gain
And as always, I remain
Through your fear, through my pain
Through empty isolation's reign
So without you, I remain
This life I'm seeking
Something I remember
Though never having seen
Still I could not forget her
Feeling beyond understanding
Such ragile faith this task's demanding
Though I could not offer it to a god
For her I take this chance
And fight against the weight of circumstance
Not one of you is worthy
Not one among you understands
The faulted perception
I pass through souls and eyes
Every one blank and empty
Meaningless regression
The worst is to forsee
Complete futility
In every action, every fallacy
Through your fear, through my pain
Through empty isolation's reign
So without you, I remain
I find myself here again (I remain here)
I can rely on myself (I always have)
Resume this comfort and then...
There is safety in numbers (if the number is one)
3. Return To Exile
It seems this time
I've managed to cross the line
I never realized I was so near
All of this time
Now choice has been revoked
I'm left with a single path
My roads converge and now
My sentence is passed
There's space and distance
On the outside
Its cold and hollow
On the inside
It's so dark here
But pleasantly still
If you listen carefully
You can hear a single
Heart...beat...until...it stops.
I feel nothing out here
I can't explain the madness or fear
I'm disconnected and numb
Yet somehow I can't stop laughing
At what I've become
Marching out of Temples
Where I thought I'd find salvation
Marching out of cities
Where I thought I could belong
Wandering this world
Until someday the answers come to me
Or I can find a home
I know someday I will return
And maybe then I'll understand
How to exist in your world
Until then I've found a pleasant,
Quiet misunderstanding
To shelter in until I'm summoned
Or I burn
I'm tired of fighting with these empty words
A thin facade of what I'm feeling
Besides, none of this really hurts
Its all illusion and courtesy
To hide the truths none of us really want to see
Reaching the bottom I will arise
Forged in the flames of truths I despise
Return to something I've felt before
Isolated minds find ways to be reborn
Marching out of Temples
Where I thought I'd find salvation
Marching out of cities
Where I thought I could belong
Wandering this world
Until someday the answers come to me
Or I can find a home
4. Corinthian Black
So warm and dark, so comfortable
Familiar state beckons me back
Searching through the shadows for a reason
Investigating beautiful architecture in black
Foray into an empty fear
Of loss and empty time
So carefully constructed for me
In this corinthian black design
I could stay here forever
With just a word and a thought
Giving up is the easiest choice
(I could never choose)
Abandon all for which I've fought
(What are you fighting for?)
We all hide from the world in self made cages
Kneeling to fear to betray our dreams in stages
Turning away from how we've learned and grown
All this abandonned, say the word: Alone
Feeling rejected and abandonned
Lost and jaded
Cast aside by everyone (Paranoid)
I'm numb and faded
Angry and seeking some justification
The reason everyone denies me infiltration
We hide in shells of our own creation
Running in circles to escape self-condemnation
Still fighting against the cold unknown
But I won't die - alone
The cold reaches deep
Pushed down by an icy hand
Now I see the hand is mine
I am the cold
In complete darkness all you can see is yourself
5. Broken Affinity
[First Movement]
I. Inside my Paradigm
She was standing just out of reach
Maybe just what I was looking for
But I watched as through a foot of solid glass
Even as her eyes swept towards me
And I know she saw the shell
I just froze and let the moment pass
I look into my own dead eyes
And see the reason for my failure
The beauty I witness on the streets
Is part of another world
One I can see but never touch
As I walk through the throng
Playing my own monophonic song
The mocking din of the symphony is just too much
I look into my own dead eyes
And see the reason for my failure
II. Across the Void
The daily state of loss
Born in isolation
The winds of time erode
Leave mirrors looking strange
Imagine a whispering breeze
You can't inhale, but
If you could only breathe
It would become a wind of change
I can see - countless futures already passed
Never the one that will play out
When fleeting hopes can never last
All that's left inside is doubt
To reach out and touch that life
To speak and be heard alive
The freedom to always belong
To stand among the masses and thrive
[Second Movement]
III. Despite my Disease
Beneath all these layers
Of failure and fear
There's still a reason
To carry on
Continued persistence
Throughout my existence
To keep my resolve true
When hope is gone
A breeding ground of terror
In every minute error
The strength to breathe once more
Is held within
Though weary from the struggle
And rows of gray memories
Another new slow trial
Must now begin
IV. Soul in Exile
And in time
If this river doesn't change its course
Running away from the sea - en force
The solitary madman
Who only exists in his words
Written to no one
Speaking only to memories
But I cannot be dissuaded
All detractors will be persuaded
And I will grow to find relation
To breed the greatest congregation
I will find all gods are blind
Fed by complicit minds
As I build new power
In the space emotion devours
Afraid of what I might become
Regretful for who I was before
I could be nothing less than myself
And so I built this cage in which
I can be nothing more
[Third Movement]
V. What Must Be
I believe there is a reason
I always keep some small hope near
I'll fortify for the future
And I will dam off every tear
I will stand up over all
With this will I'll never fall
I won't waver, shake or bend
I'll bring this cycle to an end
Enduring the pain of freedom
Looking toward some higher purpose
Justifying solitude
Hiding the torment beneath the surface
Claiming the blame as my own
Acceptance blending into choice
Locked in a silent chamber
For the freedom of one voice
All I wanted was a simple solution
To the void I held within
Now the void surrounds me
A solid emptiness - imprisoned
I wanted nothing more
Than to share this vision with you
Nothing else I've felt in this life
Has been as pure and true
Though with every delicate embrace
Came a deep and tearing wound
Left alone, removed from grace
Praying it would return soon
There's a path I must walk alone
Though I'll take it stone by stone
I swear I'll reach the end someday
No matter all the tolls I pay
VI. A Reason
I still hold out for a reason
The blackest nights, the time I've taken
Demanding answers, explanation
For proof I have not been forsaken
Denial struggles with belief
That circumstance is not to blame
Left as a martyr to myself
Excuses just leave me the same
Through my armor and my walls
You approach my defense falls
I can't play my public role
When your eyes draw out my soul
And I know my words are poison
As I feed you another line
To eat away at the bond between us
I will always cherish its death as mine
Would I be stronger by your side
Or must I harden, stand alone
Could we together make one whole?
Or can I only do this on my own
Is there comfort in knowing
I cared for someone (that I loved)
Though I am this abandonned soul in exile
Is my purpose worth the loss
Of the only thing that matters more than this
Is the gesture worth the trial
There's a path I must walk alone
Though I'll take it stone by stone
I swear I'll reach the end someday
No matter all the tolls I pay
There was a time
When I didn't feel alone
It was a dream that
Passed like clouds in the wind
But this memory of a life
I'll never know,
Is a haunting reminder
Of how grim...
This cyclic living has become
A self defeating search for truth
All the while racing the clock
Of our ever fleeting, escaping youth
Breaking boundaries in my mind
Onlookers see a stagnant waste
A constant fight to defeat flaws
But no one can keep up this pace
With nothing to reflect
Or be reflected in
A soul begins to fade
(no longer...)
As the walls are rising
As the light is fading
There's the sound of breaking
As something is lost
(in...)
To rip through the fabric
Of an intangible prison
To bathe in the light of
The world I've fallen from
(So I'm...)
REACHING OUT
There's a path I must walk alone
Down into darker valleys than you've ever known
There's a reason
I can sometimes still believe
There's a reason, there has to be
There's got to be a reason
There must be a reason
Oh GOD is there a reason?
I'm alone...
Is it too late for
Hope to redeem us?
Have fatal flaws been
Proven beyond all doubt
If there is nothing
Left here between us
I'll keep believing despite
All absence of reason - why
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