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GWAR LYRICS
"We Kill Everything" (1999)
1. Babyraper
2. Fish Fuck
3. The Performer
4. A Short History Of The End Of The World
5. Escape From The Mooselodge
6. Tune From Da Moon
7. Jiggle The Handle
8. Nitro - Burnin´ Funny Bong
9. Jagermonsta
10. My Girly Ways
11. The Master Has A Butt
12. We Kill Everything
13. Child
14. Penile Drip
15. Mary Anne
16. Friend
17. Fuckin´ An Animal
1. Babyraper
Babyraper, sperm creator
Hulking, brutish masturbator
Babyraper, emasculator
Fleshy flap valve navigator
Never leave me,
Babyraper
Melted cum ejaculator
Spackled filth evaporator
High colonic spackulator the
Babyraper the Babyraper
My quest for sex consumes all my life
Being a god I do what i like I know it hurts you when I fuck a child
Cum-sumed with cumming I've simply gone wild
Drinking and drowning in lakes full of lust
I'll still jerk off even when I cum dust
My sex is my hatred
My penis a tool
My balls are imploding I'm playing the fool
My butt crack is folding
The crap that it's holding I heap it all over the stool
Oh, Babyraper I'm the fucking
Babyraper I'm the guy who stiffed the waiter
Mangled public flagellator
Turgid bowel exaggerator
Fleshy flap-valved gladiator
2. Fish Fuck
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish [X2]
Gonna take a rivercarp and ram it up your butt
You slut You whore Why are you my Mom?
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish [X2]
Gonna take a moa-moa and swim it up your butt
You slut You whore Why?
3. The Performer
I'll come to town for you
Dress up like a clown for you
Pull my pants on down for you
Then I'll crawl away
I will blow hot fart on you
I will build an R-2 D-2
I won't even start for you
Unless you fucking pay
Because I am the performer [X3]
I will come to town for you
Dress up like a clown for you
Try not to fuck around on you
Do so anyway I will find the ark for you
Go sleep in the park with you I'll even suck a cock or two
But no sir, I'm not gay
[Chorus]
Before I was a whore, on tour I was the child always running around
With his dick hanging out and diapers pulled down
Show biz was calling so I hit the stage
Worked out an act where I got raped in a cage
My life was bullshit and I didn't care
Went to go bowling and I missed on my spare
But what else could I fucking do
But play another song for you...
Thinking about a nose job, too...
cause I am the Performer...
4. A Short History Of The End Of The World
5. Escape From The Mooselodge
GWAR, the once mighty
Scumdogs of the Universe wallow in the filth that their lives have become.
Drug addicted, riddled with disease
They're not dogs, they're just scum...
Could they get a chance to change their fate
Destroy the things they've come to love with hate
Only time will tell...
I'm sick of this damn planet and the sluts and the booze,
I'd like to kill the Master, and start turning the screws
The sins of this planet have long since grown stale
We need to kill on a galactic scale
Forsaken by their cosmic master,
GWAR constantly schemes
For a way to escape Earth, realize their twisted dreams
Old men fly into space, GWAR cannot...
This re-occuring pattern of failure
Has fucked with them a lot
Get me the hell out of Dodge I'll turn in my card at the Moose Lodge
But first let me settle my account at
Blockbuster and bid fond adieu to my friend General Custer...
I scream to the heavens to split open wide and let loose a torrent
of death's ghastly tide
The power of Chaos, there's no reason why
We need a way to make everybody die...
The ancient legend of "The TimeBomb",
an alien device which supposedly chronicled all time's events
from the beginning-to the end.
If it could be deciphed by our bum, bling anti-heroes,
then the end of the world would come.
As to what this has to do with anything, I'm not really sure...
Out there the power is growing and it's growing fast
Here the only thing growing is my big fat ass.
Sales are dropping, riffs are slopping
Can you smell the zits I'm popping
What the hell can we do?
We've done it all,
I've humped god's nose
I've reeked of booze...
I've cancelled shows
Became everything that I despised And my own hell I recognize
But there's just so many little bohabs and they're always crowding
around begging me to suckle them and tie their mothers down
I will kill their girlfriends,
I will smoke their crack I become the pimp-daddy,
I become the Mack
But everyday I'm doing I'm dying deep inside
But I'm gonna tell ya something gonna give ya back your pride
So here's a little thought that I had the other day
If we could blow the planet up
We could just float away
6. Tune From Da Moon
[Sang by Scroda Moon]
YOU! Screwed it all up,
Ruined everything for everyone.
YOU! Won't even admit that it was all your fault.
WHOAH! The self indulgent ego will bring you down where ever you go.
All the hopes broken into tiny pieces,
you should be kings,
but you're wallowing in feces and now the tablet is broken.
YOU! Got to get it right, you got to get back what you lost.
YOU! Hot to find all of the pieces, or the end of the world will come.
I came here from the moon Just showed up this afternoon
You broke the tablet
Now you gotta fix it
You broke it! Why'd you break it?
You gotta fix it SCRODA MOON!
Soothsayer
Swordmaker
Windbreaker
7. Jiggle The Handle
[Sang by Scroda Moon, The Toilet, Oderus Urungus, Slymenstra Hymen, and Beefcake The Mighty]
[Scroda:]
GWAR, I bring forth the portal potty
Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies.
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let's use it's great power to recover the pieces
[The Toilet:]
Hey! Hey jackass!
Yea You!
You got to love me sooo good!
Yea, yea you can depend on me
Depending on, if my water's on...
if my pipe's unglogged...
Ahhhhh if you're water-logged...
Baby, I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I'll suck your soul
Just pay... just pay my shitty toll! ahhhh.
[Scroda:]
Coated in shit I give all you desire
Mystical doorway swimming in mire
We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge
It's a door through the plane of fudge
[Oderus:]
So many times I have found you, still I always piss on the ground
Now that I can use you I'm gonna stop fucking around
If you need shit, then I got shit
On that you can depend I'll pump your stump,
you fuckin' hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend
[All:]
The Portal Potty, a gift from the gods
Let's pay it tribute and bury our wads
[Beefcake:]
I think we know what it's all about.
Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out.
[Slymenstra:]
I am a woman and I have my needs.
You can never really know just where or when I'll bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed!
[Toilet:]
Yea, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that fucking tampon away from me.
[Slymenstra:]
Take in this world, it's sooo beautiful...
Filthy humans, you're all so full of it...
That which you can't stand you can't understand
Speak the mystic words and bring forth
a turd you turn around into it and turn over to me.
[Oderus:]
Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss
[Beefcake:]
Each Virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words.
Well, Jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd.
[Toilet:]
Yea! Here it comes baby,
I'm dropping my load
I'm ain't just on it,
I am the commode! Ahhh!
[Scroda:]
The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged, or carnage could ensue.
If a dead sheep had clogged him, who knows what could arrive.
Maybe it will bring the Master here, wouldn't that be a surprise!
8. Nitro - Burnin´ Funny Bong
Ahhh...sweet youth
The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute
Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator
Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked
on the weed and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed
And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit
Let's go hit the
Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song
Fat and lame
The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed
By a bong, and a schlong
Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong
My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased
Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees
A swarm of narcotics could get me through this
My manager's gonna be pissed
Let's go hit the
Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song
Oh, can you take it
Yeah, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys
Now I'm old
Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold
In the twilight of my years
I am still a drug addict
I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong
Moistened with lotion,
wrapped in a sarong I live like a king
but you know that I act like a faggot
Once was a warrior, now just a sponge
High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge
My glorious destiny it turned to shit
Can I get another hit?
From the Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song
Oh, can you take it
Yeah, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys
9. Jagermonsta
If you look at it you'll get drunk
Frothing mass of filthy chunk
Bloodshot eye and boiling spew
To kick the ass of punks like you
Seeking ancient wisdom, drinking with the gods
Rolling in the gutter, craving bloated bloody scrod
Where it came from none can say
Though they do so anyway
Memories of braincells lost
Promoting drunken holocaust
Try - to tame the fury of the Jagermonsta
Drinking, stinking, falling down
Acting like a fucking clown
A drunk who got what he deserved
At least his corpse is well-preserved
The Jagermonster comes to slay
By making you get drunk today
Then drive your car until it skids
Into a busload of retarded kids
Who burn alive, you drunken fuck and then get hit by another truck
Bleeding retards in the dirt
The funny things that you're not hurt
The cops don't come, you get away
You'll live to drink another day...
Hooray! Every stupid thing I do the Jagermonster tells me to
Bring forth now the virgin, soon her flesh to flay
Oh, she's not a virgin?
Still, we'll kill her anyway
That means we can fuck her
And fuck her we will
Then we will go get drunk and find
Someone else to kill
Drunken vengence from the grave
Hooves are flailing, nailing slaves
Beware the power of the Jagermonster!
10. My Girly Ways
[Sang by Slymenstra]
She is the creator of life
Sacrifice my will
To give you some time
You shall pay dearly
And now I give you a second chance
To correct your crooked path
All I ask is to embrace
The pussy everyday and
Understand
Understand
My girly way
The gods set forth their energies
The world shook and the sea's tremble
The great battle to destroy me
The most arrogant beast of all
The power and the glory
From my transformation
Came a vision
A series of miracles
With my golden body
I radiate like a thousand suns
I cast my spell upon you with a wave of my hand electricity consumes you
Giving your soul new life
Feel your mangled body sewn
Back together again
Awake now from this trance-like state
You must choose your fate
Now here's your second chance
To correct your crooked path
All I ask is
That you embrace
The things that I say
Understand
Understand
Understand
11. The Master Has A Butt
I'm thinking I was once a baby
Birthed deep within the Master's bowels
Shat across the cosmos, banished to this mudball
But I crave vengence, I'm not throwing in the towel
Well I said I'm sorry but you slapped me back down
I'm just a Sunday morning turd coming down
Stare into the inky blackness I swear I think you'll find him there
With over grown cuticles, and an asteroid belt I said now sonny,
de does not give a damn
Well I'm a real bad mama
A real bad man I like to spend a lot of time on the can
I had a little something to eat last night
It's not alright,
The Master has a butt
Well we fucked up the tablet and the Master heard the sound
A little birdie told me he's coming back around
His hideous wisdom calls for my death
There'll be nothing left
Except a butt
Daddy tells me to bend over
Whips your buttocks with a strap
Bails my ass out of reform school
Then he goes and takes a nap
Well I said that I was sorry but I couldn't make you care
If I could stop shitting then I'd change my underwear
If I can't kill the Master then I'll have to get a job I'm a fuckin' slob
The Master has a butt
12. We Kill Everything
In the hulking halls of hatred where the Master makes his throne
Within the "ass"-teroid belt where his body floats
alone his mind begins to wander the worm begins to turn all life
he must now squander the universe must burn
He plans eternal war, as the eternal way
But there is a force - which he must now obey
Time and the events within, chronicles of hate and sin
Everything, it has a start, but the end is always the best part
Our quest - to find the broken bits
Put them back and make them fit
And once that we have read the end
The tablet will blow up again [X4]
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Including ourselves
Summoning the Master
Call his form most vile
Champing mass of questing flesh
Protoplasmic pile
Ancient hunger, never filled until the universe is killed
The endless host of merging soul
Sucked into the feeding hole
Guts and giblets cascade down
Rectal midgets, flattened ground
Please pay attention to the plot
As I kick out this monster's snot
Splitting skulls and raking ribs,
Trephinated drainage sieve
Protruding mass of reeking bile
Which forms infected booger pile
Assemble now the tablet
Hope that it's not Braille
Bring forth now the Master
So we can end this tale
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Especially ourselves
Transmogrify your plasmic swarm
Evaporate before time's storm
And dedicate your life to porn
And dedicate your life to porn
You think that life has a reason?
You think your god has a soul?
I bare my bum to the heavens I think a head is a hole.
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Including ourselves
13. Child
Having a child with a person I don't even know
Jumping up and down in the crowd she got a face full of blow
She caught the sperm in her mouth
And then she put it down south
She didn't understand
That a burrowing beast would plop out in the pan
She's having a child and she thinks it's such a clever stunt
What she's really gonna get is a claw in the cunt
Things went south
That's when I started to fuck in her mouth
She didn't understand
That I'm a happy dappy Sammy Davis Jr. man
You wanna get out of your life?
Well go fuck a rock star!
Then you can quit your job at the crummy fucking titty bar
You'll be lying on your back next to the wall with your legs in the air
Crowd of fucking doc's coming on like they really don't care
She took that fistful of sperm and crammed it right up her womb
So she could lie with her legs in the air in the hospital room
But there's one thing that the little girl don't understand
That I don't have a dime and I don't give a damn
14. Penile Drip
Penile Drip
You gotta love it when the blisters spread all over your hands
The Penile Drip
You gotta love it when the blisters come up all over your hands
Penile Drip -
you gotta love when you spread it all over the land
The Penile Drip -
you know gotta love it when the blisters come all over you hands I said
the Penile Drip - (bunch of unitelligible bullshit)
Spread it all over the land
Spread it all over your glands
Big chunky Charlie's got a red rubber ball and he spreads it all over the land.
Penile Drip, gotta love it, blisters spread all over your hands
I said your mission in life, your mission is a failure
And you're pissing all over the can I said the Pita, the Pita, the Pita,
and the lovey-dovey Lucifer man
Can an ocean of tears fill the depth of the wound?
Nay, the chaotic basilisk said Spread it all over the land,
spread it all over your hands
Big chunky Charlie's got a red rubber ball
And he spreads it all over the land
Spread it all over the land, spread it all over your hands
Big chunky Charlie's got a red rubber ball
And he spreads it all over the land
15. Mary Anne
[Sang by Balsac The Jaws Of Death]
You don't ever call me on the phone to say "Hell-O" and
if I call you only say "goodbye".
Watching TV, how re-runs make me cry
Are you thinking of me like I'm thinking of you?
Are you all alone? If not, with who?
If you still had legs would you be walking out on me?
If I unlocked the chains would you stay?
My love is like your stench, it grows stronger everyday.
Will they ever stop talking about you and me?
Will they leave us alone and watch TV?
Mary Anne
Cross my heart and hope to die stick a needle in my eye Mary Anne
They say the world is ending.
Yeah, tomorrow is doomsday.
That don't really matter to us, baby.
Our love has been so perfect since the day you passed away.
Your heart is cold when it's in my hand.
Is it wrong to love you, Mary Anne?
16. Friend
You are my friend, friend, friend, friend
But you no know nothing [X4]
You do not treat me this way! [X4]
My friend, right or wrong
Even if they are completely wrong
Me and my friend against the world
And the world is gonna kick my fucking ass
Friend, friend, friend, friend
My friend you are my enemy [X4]
I WILL KILL YOU!
17. Fuckin´ An Animal
Oh I am Fuckin' an animal
I'm fuckin' an animal
I'm holding on the horns
I'm fuckin' an animal
I'm involved with porn
I'm fuckin' an animal
Sure is nice and warm in here
I'm fuckin' an animal drinking fifty beers
I'm fuckin' an animal blowing fifty steers
I'm fuckin' an animal
Oh, I'm a fucking queer
I'm fuckin' an animal
Didn't have to take her on a date
Just had to stand here on a crate
No talking, no torment, no long-term commitment
Just me and animal,
Getting my dick bent I'm fuckin' an animal
Didn't have to say please I'm fuckin' an animal
With Legionnaires disease I'm fuckin' an animal
Damn hard on the knees... I'm fuckin' an animal
Animal fucker, on the loose I'm fuckin' an animal
I'll go from dog to goose I'm fuckin' an animal
Once I fucked a moose I'm fuckin' an animal
But now the animal is in pain!
It's in pain, it's in pain, it's in pain (terrible pain).
And now it's starting to rain....
But I'm still the same. I'm fuckin' an animal
Not proud of what I do... I'm fuckin' an animal
Had a great time at the zoo I'm fuckin' an animal
Cause you won't let me fuck you...
Animal!
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