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GENERAL SURGERY LYRICS
"Left Hand Pathology" (2006)
1. If These Walls Could Talk
2. Ambulance Chaser
3. Fulguration
4. Arterial Spray Obsession
5. Necrodecontamination
6. The League Of Extraordinary Grave Robbers
7. The Admirable Teachings Of Burke & Hare
8. Capricious Provisional Cadaver Grater
9. Decomposer
10. Viva! Blunt Force Trauma
11. Cold Storage Fever
12. Mucopurulent Mayhem
13. Mortuary Wars
14. Convivial Corpse Disposal Methodology
1. If These Walls Could Talk
The tiles splattered with waste
Intestinal fluids and sinew
If these walls could talk
They’d regale with tales of horror
An anthology of vitiation
If these walls could talk
Mute witness to the horror
A sanguinary cataclysm
Malicious vivisection
Vile dismemberment
An anthology of vitiation
If these walls could talk
A desensitized beholder
Of decadence and bloodshed
A murderous dystopia
Filtered crimson red
Cold harsh stone
Clotted with offal
A permanent audience
To regular dissection
An anthology of vitiation
If these walls could talk
2. Ambulance Chaser
The sirens indicate death
Cadavers acquired with ease
The aftermath of mischance
I prey on such tragedy
Mangled flesh supreme
Fatalities and grief
Fragmented shards of bone
Gathered with perverse glee
Sanguine cause and effect
A covert euthanasia spree
Leeching off the carnage
Meat wagon allure
Abusing the grievous outcome
Leeching stiffs in the aftermath
A Machiavellian approach
Total stealth invoked
Stalk the EMT’s
Appropriate the corpses
A modern Burke and Hare
Grand theft fatality
Vile forensic deception
In the guise of assistance
A harvest of broken bodies
Gathered with perverse glee
Bribe the paramedics
Ensure a tragic outcome
Mangled flesh supreme
Fatalities and grief
Leeching off the carnage
Meat wagon allure
3. Fulguration
Abnormal tissue abounds
An irritant to rid
A fitting treatment found
Electric currents assist
Wrap the deceased in foil
Attach a couple of clips
Plug the whole package in
Flip the switch and let her rip
Spit on the laboratory griddle
Watch the sparks increase
Fulguration in excess
The stench of burning grease
Fuses blowing one by one
Highly irritating
A surgeon needs to be prepared
with an extra generator
4. Arterial Spray Obsession
Recklessly puncturing veins
Cascading crimson rush
Artistically spread the torrent
Bask in the hematic flood
Ex-sanguinate the carcass
Bleed the riven limbs
Leech the clotted plasma
Pump subsiding flows
Smear the viscous cruor
Consolidate the gore
Reveal the vascular organs
Dichotomize the rapidly failing heart
Methodically dissect the flesh
Slice and lay open the skin
Relish the glutinous mess
Savor ensanguined death
Unleash the hemic fountain
An imbrued deranged feast
Extract the maximum claret
Pierce the arterial conduits
Escalate the carnage
Encourage venous spatter
Spray the grisly substance
A veritable sanguine artiste
5. Necrodecontamination
Gristle, bile and grime
infesting every surface
Surreal patterns of rouge
The penance of being careless
The need for professional
Containment of disease
Scour scrub and wipe
Yearning for a sparkle
Underneath the human waste
Reveal the tiles and marble
Dial 1-800-mess-be-gone
For all your clean-up needs
A drug addled enthusiasm
Compensates our lack of expertise
A predilection for gore
An unhealthy zest
A psychotic fixation
In dealing with death
Scooping up remains
Pouring into tins and jugs
Redistribute the filth
Regurgitate the past
6. The League Of Extraordinary Grave Robbers
Disinter and subjugate
The freshly buried corpses
A vaguely high-brow fetish
For me and my distinguished colleagues
Exhumation an honourable task
To rid the cemeteries of their casks
A gentleman and body snatcher
A closet frenzied carcass slasher
Venerable dissection
Undignified post-mortem
Unauthorized vivisection
A villainous consortium
A nocturnal raid on the morgue
To relieve them of superfluous corpses
An impossible task to perform
Without my fellow deviant surgeons
Venerable dissection
Undignified post-mortems
Unauthorized vivisection
A villainous consortium
7. The Admirable Teachings Of Burke & Hare
Exhume to investigate
Reflect on corpse criteria
The perfect specimen, suitably fresh
Untouched by disfiguring trauma
The grave robbing business
A lucrative offence
Appropriate subjects in shortage
Mucopurulent stiffs refused
Gaseous corpses discharging pus
Unacceptable for medical purpose
Create your own cadaver
Deliver the recently dead
Defile and disinter the freshly deceased
Inadequate to meet the growing needs
Furtively smother the sacrificial mark
A fine cadaver to pride the anatomy slab
A lethal business venture
Anatomical counterfeiting
A murderous vocation
Cadavers fermented to gunk
Entirely inappropriate
likewise the crushed and gored remains
of bloody industrial mishaps
Efficient body snatchers
Reap the harvest of death’s mailing
Defile and disinter the freshly deceased
Inadequate to meet the growing needs
Furtively smother the sacrificial mark
A fine cadaver to pride the anatomy slab
8. Capricious Provisional Cadaver Grater
Splinters of bone - Flesh turns to mince
Sinew & phlegm - Fragments of skin
Flesh and muscle stripped
Layer by putrid layer
Strands of reeking waste
Fetid strips of meat
Splinters of bone - Flesh turns to mince
Sinew & phlegm - Fragments of skin
Noxious putrid corpses
Rasped and razed to stew
Effectively ground down
By this murderous contraption
Untested apparatus
With a penchant for structural failure
Unproved waste disposal
A heinous carrion grinder
9. Decomposer
Are we lying comfortably?
I hope that you fear not
Your stay here shall be lengthy
Depending on just how quickly you rot
Apply a quicklime mud pack
Hinder circulation
Artificially inflicted gangrene
Hasten the maceration
Rendered impeccably clean
Stripped to the ivory core
The cleansing of your fetid flesh
Revealing the divine gleam of bone
Strings of muscle tissue
Yanked away with ease
Luckily I removed your tongue
I'm distracted by agonized screams
It probably won't hurt too much
The sedatives will bear you through
The pain eventually subsides
When your nerve ends turn to goo
Bound to be gored
Intravenously fed
Destined to rot
Your skin to be shed
Trimming off loose sinew
Your appearance is still a mess
My psychopedantic maniacal glee
Matches your distress
Cleanliness is godliness
Unbound by rank decay
I admire your skeletal remains
As I hose your fetid carrion down the drain
10. Viva! Blunt Force Trauma
Deformed facial features
Cranial wounds abound
Abrasions and incisions
Bruises and severe contusions
The finer things in life and death
Viva! blunt force trauma
Crushed, smashed and ruined
Structurally redefined
Mangled, battered and beaten
The hilarity still abides
Fundamental gore
Viva! blunt force trauma
Excessive bodily harm
Shattered and protruding bone
The miracle of extreme force
in conjuncture with human forms
11. Cold Storage Fever
In the company of fellow carrion the deceased seem to come around
In the hidden realms of the morgue
Contained behind locked doors
My thoroughly sound-proofed cellar
contains abducted corpses by the bulk
In the v.i.p. room of the morgue,
an orgy of dry-frozen hulks
Refrigerate the stiffs
Minimize the decay
A collection of fresh playmates
for a better day
Degeneration kept at bay
Necrological lust denied
A certain virtuosity
until the time feels right
A pathological binge
A sub-zero soiree
Mingle in the festering crowds
as the festivities slowly mount
Stiff-limbed hedonism
An orgy of dry-frozen hulks
A pathological binge
A sub-zero soiree
12. Mucopurulent Mayhem
Ravaged and obsolete stiffs
Cadavers infested with mould
Purulence oozing from slits
As mortification takes hold
Embrace the decay
Assimilate gore
Revel in flesh
Be one with the corpse
Hysterical anatomization
Ingesting fetid brawn
Embrace the decay
Assimilate gore
Revel in flesh
Be one with the corpse
Shredded epidermis
Discarded shards of bone
A tragic clutter of corpses
Chaotic science honed
13. Mortuary Wars
Scourging the morgue with sickly malice
Rank antagonism brought to a head
Disquiet on the forensic front
I sense the gathering of purulent adversary flesh
Slashing at blistered & ulcerous limbs
Keeping the rancid stiffs at bay
The ongoing struggle against dearly departed
A justified frenzy of pathological rage
Putrefactive waste I do adorn
A foul internecine reward
The gains of the battle, reeking of bile
To the victor the spoils of mortuary wars
Surgical tools aid my success
over the malodorous cadavers I dread
Their insidious advances I repulse with finesse
Strategical mind games with the recently dead
Necrobiosis prevailing
My ally in decomposition
A festering triumph accomplished by force
The shredded rank corpses my cowed and crushed foes
Putrefactive waste I do adorn
A foul internecine reward
The gains of the battle, reeking of bile
To the victor the spoils of mortuary wars
Scorch the fetid waste
Replenish the source of flesh
Gather a fresh batch
of rancid, rank opponents
Joyfully await the next occasion
For the fun to start again To recreate with my malodorous chums
This thrilling, exhilarant game
The gains of the battle
The sweet stench of bile
To the victor the spoils
of Mortuary wars
14. Convivial Corpse Disposal Methodology
Pathological waste abounds
Cadavers lined wall to wall
Foul-whiffing stiffs all around
A bonfire would clean it all
Frenzied cauterization
Now seems slightly passé
A more gleeful method seems fitting
To spread havoc and disharmony
Dispensation of carrion embellished
In a delightfully mirthful way
The disposal of my spent toys
A most superbly distasteful fray
Mannequins discretely exchanged
For a different fashion model
Now view the spring collection
As worn by bloated corpses
The ghastly remains strategically placed in public spots
Much to the amusement of my like-minded pathologist chums
De-truncating limbs, slack heads are lopped
Soak the pieces in preservatives to debar foul rot
Wrap the stinking presents and then regroup
To deliver bloody packages to your front stoops
Blithely positioning cadavers on a park bench
Horrified children recoil and blench
Hang a corpse by its intestines from a nearby tree
For the public to admire my disposal methodology
Our gruesome tasks masked by off-putting gaiety
The jocular demeanour veils your repugnance but barely
Jovially dissecting and disposing of the gore
Our brash disposal methods leave you shaken to your core
Unauthorized surgeries
Dismantling anatomy
Solemnizing necrotomies
Convivial Corpse Disposal Methodology
Suspended stiffs on wires
Make for hours of entertainment
A pus-dripping puppet show
An enchanting display of debasement
The jovial sense of misconduct
Derived from the publics disgust
Young and old repelled by the reek
of rank, putrefying meat
The mortuary waste diminishing for every prank
Cadaveric clean-up of my vile, putrescent body bank
Tossing rigored stiffs from embankments and cliffs
Setting carcasses ablaze, and other procedures most comedic
Our ingenuity is tested when our patients die
Inventive methods of disposal our modus operandi
Villainy demonstrated with our internment techniques
Bodies stored in 50-gallon drums until they start to leak
Mincing the dead into finely ground organic scrap
Mulching your garden with our latest mishap
Rollicking through our disposal drills
Dispatching the murdered is better than the kill
Slowly dissolved in acid, encased in tar
Or dumped in plastic bags from a moving car
Unauthorized surgeries
Dismantling anatomy
Solemnizing necrotomies
Convivial Corpse Disposal Methodology
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