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ESTUARY LYRICS
"To Exist and Endure" (2004)
1. To Exist...
2. Soul Scarred Captives
3. Draining the Deptor
4. Of Weakening Stone
5. Woven Denial
6. The Evershielding
7. Flesh and Blood Dilemma
8. Silence and Mind
9. Riding the Tides of Malice
10. ...To Endure
1. To Exist...
2. Soul Scarred Captives
It isn't easy to dream without failing
A purpose set out to defeat
(Though) we stand no chance against the opposing sides
A hoax lightly taken weighing heavy with time running out, we stand...
We'll stand rooted shielded with pride
Yet we are easily swayed by each changing contradiction !
What is to be real ? Where is the true sight ?
All that contains substance deflates once revealed
There lies bleakness within this concept
Regardless of what they feed into your shallow mind
The consequences untold
The unspoken construed our minds into confusion
And all this time we rely on our given instinct
Tattered, abused and forgotten once we tried !
As bait, alive, imprisoned children... Unwanted minds !
We were desired and wasted
Leaving us captivated with all the ambition against this empty flow
Unbroken the cycle remains leading us to the washed away...
We are soul scarred captives in time...
We are soul scarred captives in time...
One-sided penance that has altered our will to defeat the empowered
As bait, alive, imprisoned children... Unwanted minds !
We were desired and wasted
Leaving us captivated with all the ambition against this empty flow
Unbroken the cycle remains leading us to the washed away...
It must be broken... They must be punished... We must regain control
3. Draining the Deptor
An emblem of sinister decay encumbers our primal glory
With dominance swelling amongst the olden reign
Prophecies of a neglected plague now in sight...
The branding of one and all...
Born to work the fields of progress, a gift passed down
Feeding with blood the growth of power with ankles bound
Forced to plant the barren seeds that overrun the knowledge tree
Gnawing on the hand that feeds and all its guise
Abiding by the molded form
Proclaims an eternal covenant
Our soul's essence to linger and remain spoken with virtue
Faith is hung upon your doorstep the crease unfurled
Portaying the colors of your neighbors who mold your world ?
Your own beliefs you will deny for safety from their judging eyes
Gnawing on the hand that feeds and all its guise
Dreams of fragile minds now embalmed with pouring lies...
All desires sacrificed !
Relinquished passions waver lifeless at each end
A breeding replica bears the silhouette of shame
And spreads its filth unknown to most...
With fear binding remorse
The word of god written by man
Tainted with sand and poisoned with blood
4. Of Weakening Stone
Fixed on a base of weakening stone
The cracks form in bleak patterns
Barely visible yet running so deep
All around they're caving in and they fall
Unable to stand alone
I'll turn my back...
Can you see their weakness in their eyes ?
They're souls of a failing purpose
Have I created all of this ?
To escape... It will defeat
To remain... It will succumb over me !
Calamity traces my own path
All hope fails in just mere seconds
Seen only moments before
Fleeing with haste, yet they return unwillingly
Unable to stand alone - Placing their blame
While disgraced - Their hand in the matter
What a horrid sight - What terrible fate
When a tired mind - Twists it all
The cold dust awaits - To take to the air
And choke it - On what remains
I've prayed for freedom - Freedom from myself
Flee now into sleep... With the thoughts of never to awake
It's not that easy to defeat... Face the misfortune and partake the
pain...
By the wayside we fall ! We fall into ruin !
In the depths of my soul they shudder
The fractures increasing, they're running deeper
And those that I carry begin to slip...
All their need and their turmoil, I cannot shoulder !
And the need to keep running grows stronger each day
And the wanting to forget, and to smother the pain
A lasting scar will always be...
The reminder of lost years and our lasting mistakes
In the depths of my soul they shudder
The fractures increasing, they're running deeper
And those that I carry begin to slip...
All their need and their turmoil, I cannot shoulder !
Fixed on a base of weakening stone
The cracks form in bleak patterns
Barely visible yet running so deep
All around they're caving in and they fall
5. Woven Denial
A mirage is washed over opal dunes
For the masses to witness its blaze
Escaping the confrontation of truth
And hiding behind the web of myth
The cycle lingers onward...
Of deception and lies and lies... All a woven denial !
With clones surrounding our gifted epoch
Prophets proclaim
Their artificial scripts forced for a stage-play
Like puppets dancing
Allured to their majestic strings intent
All our yesterdays have lightened fools
The way to dusty death... Our way to dusty death
Sickness to insanity... All sensation withers
Vanquished by an illusion
The portrait now she wears
A different face, a player at will revealed
On this weighted journey
Devoted the myriad small
Just follow in patterns
An ellipse that's never ending... A routine of mindless habit
Sickness to insanity... All imprints through the sun
Entrapped as slaves were chained
By our wanting need we are locked
In the chamber beneath the watching tyrant of our greed
A new order holds all keys
Invading the purest made man... Unlocking the terror
Truth lies within their hidden realm
Feigned victories convincing our minds of this "paradise" to endure
Some things are better left unlived and left desert-veiled
At heel's dissolving path
The tide's surge now untamed
Only messiahs can spell command to their engulfing height
It's a soiled tale casting upon the betrayal of man
The demise of our primorial descent
6. The Evershielding
I can feel it infinitely
It has grown stronger, much stronger than before
Tracing the outline of my soul
From existence to existence
The unseen holds its guard
Straying my footsteps from harm
Teaching the lessons of lives... of lives once lived
Caution holds fast to my heart
Preparing my mind and body for all that I fear
For all that I've known
Always remember
When forgotten it weakens its guard
Protect the secret... when spoke of too freely
It may not play the part
Think it aloud to raise the unseen shield
I'll hex my own soul to divert and deceive the fire
Swallow all options to light it and let the aura glow
Step into darkness
Cherish this gift and the power it can hold
The spirit's archives echo the pains of all time
Whispering warnings - They can be heard in the corners of the mind
I must write in a spiritual form
And pass my experience through the centuries
What is learned today will be the rules of tomorrow
The presence will follow
It will never be seen
Taking its form
Through our cautious instinct
I can feel it again
Stronger than before
Tracing the outline of my soul
7. Flesh and Blood Dilemma
An absurd sense of comfort
Is found in a world of lies
Implanted in the womb of the beginning
Shrouded in a fog of man made pride
Of a deity's command, of nature's scourge and rape
But a mind bent with rage
Finds the need the impulse to murder
Distilled at birth, kept by the chasm of time
Still brooding deep, feeding on the throb of sin
The very sin that contradicts the rules of flesh
Flesh... A secret prison succeeding to anger the soul at best
Searching the solutions
To the leering conflict, the human equation
Trigger the bullet's swift clean kill
Free and wield the blade
Smiting the eyes of angels and demons the same...
The storm clouds purging of torrid rain will soon begin
Poison tears from beneath the great all seeing's lid
Burning flesh yet still bringing a bitter frost
Winter's confine grips every soul of man
Trigger the bullet's swift clean kill
Take and wield the blade, smiting the eyes of an angel...
Angels... Angels...
Sickened the dawn of death glows upon each face
The breath of innocence is displaced... disgraced...
Stricken with an undying need to destroy
Flesh, blood and bone are mere toys
To strangle the very pulse of the heart
To extinguish the very flame of the soul
A mind with rage finds the need, the impulse to murder
When trying has failed to lighten the burden of time
When dreams are dead and gone
There's nothing left but to contemplate what's after death
The storm clouds purging of torrid rain will soon begin
Poison tears from beneath the great all seeing's lid
Burning flesh yet still bringing a bitter frost
Winter's confine grips every soul of man
8. Silence and Mind
Are my crimes shrouded in solitude ?
Perhaps to empty eyes...
Obtaining peace through my own company,
After a life-age of need that had tattered me down
Released... At last the rage came unbound
Now at last it is clear
And there again appears that dreaded second side
I've lost the skill to make all my thoughts known
To anyone save myself
There are voices, haunting voices heard only by me
Loneliness was never a gift to fear
But now I see, I've chosen the path of the insane
But soon conversation between silence and mind
Brought forth the contorted illusions to a new power's bind
Released... At last the rage came unbound
This world I made it mine, only mine
A longing fulfilled, spoiled in passing days
The mirrors crack in silent tones
My spirit rifts just as my reflection
Silence and mind
Farewell to dreams soured in twisted reality
Strength turned into fear, it all seemed so perfect
Slow to the kill as I stray away from the plan
No one shall see or hear, I've seen to that myself
Sickened by my own image, to others I must be a total abomination
I'll blame time for crushing my will to live
Crushing my will !
A life's contradictions reveal the unhappy truth
Sanity riddled with questions
Silence and mind crippled all perfection
I alone have been my worst enemy
9. Riding the Tides of Malice
A tide of red consumes, blinding my eyes to the future price
I feel my flesh swell with malice
It's the war of sin on sin
The devil of my being is poised like ice on my shoulder
Whispering his hymns of hate
He's a grotesque figure of disgust
He's the impulse through my veins
For too long now he's been ignored
I feel the time has come to hear what he has to say
Gathering the nails that will forever hold the coffin shut
I thousand to silence the guilty, but only one to leave my mark
A tide of red consumes, blinding my eyes to the future price
Again, my flesh swells with malice
They'll repent thir sins through mine
It's a quest for peace through this pain of yours
A burial of the hatchet so to speak
I'm losing my faith to the voice of ill reason
It's a two-sided story with one ending and it's mine
Yes, there is room for regret
But the gleam is so inviting
M blood runes cold to the boil
I will ride the silver shards
Hold out my hand to those who might share the page
And turn my back on those who would shun my rage
The tides of retribution can be foul
But when I'm forced to wear your thorns as a crown
My darker half makes light to it all
But the price is high for this short lived peace of mind
And my spirit is at low tide
My shoulder is bare and I'm paying the price
Until my bitter end
10. ...To Endure
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