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DEVIATED PRESENCE LYRICS
"Eerie Sphere" (2005)
1. Hostile (Eerie Sphere pt.I)
2. Restart
3. Failures
4. Hope
5. Rest
6. Circles
7. Chaos
8. Storm (Eerie Sphere pt.II)
1. Hostile (Eerie Sphere pt.I)
leaving one world
to find myself in another one even worse
surreal places in mental disease
self-inflicted torture
eerie inner sphere
misanthropic rage,
extinguish unknowing foul flesh
the trees wave in silent breeze
-mankind lost its horror here
nondestructive life invites to settle down
gather strength to face my fate
reflect the chaos, flee into isolation
fallen into dreams i'm free
to unleash my feelings from oppression
revenge on random exponents of human life
cutting a victim in surprise
scream
to drown out all your lies
bleed
as all my wounds
suffer
every pain that you have caused
die
as my hopes have died
sudden cheerfulness interludes the terror, throws me back
into the human torture chamber
irrationality, unharmonic ways of interaction
poison life on earth
the trees wave in silent breeze
-mankind lost its horror here
nondestructive life invites to settle down,
gather strength to face my fate
one stab in the back to make me
fall, the wave breaks
maelstroms tear my remains
to sinking pieces
life leaves me trailing
planing the decline
sunshine over the sorrow,
one of the fallen to live in ashes
with bloodthirsty phantasies,
strengthened in growing hostility
eerie inner sphere
misanthropic rage,
extinguish unknowing foul flesh
the trees wave in silent breeze
-mankind lost its horror here
nondestructive life invites to settle down,
gather strength to face my fate
2. Restart
The dreams have gone
wake up and start again all over and over
return to the sorrow of life
bear the grief tormenting you
everytime again start a new meaningless dream
disappointment is the consequence of all hope,
drown the tears along with yourself,
the sorrow will return for another strike
restart, cut the roots, break it all over,
just to feel the same disgrace again
the perception must have changed or circles will lead to death.
without grasp there's uncontrolled movement to chaos.
converting depression to wrath which is carried out to the world beyond my reality, defending.
disappointment is the consequence of all hope,
drown the tears along with yourself,
the sorrow will return for another strike
restart, cut the roots, break it all over,
just to feel the same disgrace again
new dawn looks at me from the mirror,
the beautiful morning outside seems to say "forget the strain"
the windows cover the thoughts of the long lost past,
the ways of fate that have served their purpose
The gain of discovery after eradication fades.
disappointment is the consequence of all hope,
drown the tears along with yourself,
the sorrow will return for another strike
restart, cut the roots, break it all over,
just to feel the same disgrace again
so continue and leave the pain in the shades of progressing time,
while memories although fading remain and it all returns.
speed up life to outrun the self.
3. Failures
arrival at the wrong place,
incidental manipulations,
reasonless undeliberate deeds,
torn connections, unused opportunities.
the ways can't be ungone,
me following the plan.
decisions can't be undone
turn-offs, shattered illusions
the failures i have seen corrupt my structure-of-life-machine
there is nothing right in where i reached this night
left behind by progress of life
desolate
past reflected in my eyes
exhausted from the struggle
against what's closing in on me
against the walls that block my way
against what i have seen
motivation's almost gone, the will to defend what makes me live.
hate remains, a crippling frenzy unleashed by lack of construction
smash reality!
destroy this empty futile realm!
the failures i have seen corrupt my structure-of-life-machine
there is nothing right in where i reached this night
left behind by progress of life
desolate
past reflected in my eyes
grip is lost
time winds away
drifting apart
nauseated by recognition
the failures i have seen corrupt my structure-of-life-machine
there is nothing right in where i reached this night
left behind by progress of life
desolate
past reflected in my eyes
destinations fade
4. Hope
lost all the way
torn apart by demands
restless my fight
not to fall
while probably I'm
already down
when substance controls my reality
it's my hope that dies
when everything's wrong
it's hope that makes me try
when things catch up with me
it's hope that fuels my soul
to feel panic and run
it's all the grief
i've collected that
feeds my thoughts
the path of pain
prison of hopes
it's all the same
unperspective road
running through the forests of my life
floating on forgotten memories
it is hunting me again
takes my breath, swallows any sound
it´s running through the undergrowth
but muted are my cries
still catching up with me
never can i outrun this part of me
while time takes its toll
nothing changes anyway
this episode will go past
as it all does
all these thoughts of a wasted life
all these memories in my head
all this pain now coming back
and these echos in my ears
(if I cannot wake up...)
lost time we can´t repair
(...I might as well...)
this all now fades away
(...sleep forever)
when hope leaves life and death's the same
when substance controls my reality
it's my hope that dies
when everything's wrong
it's hope that makes me try
when things catch up with me
it's hope that fuels my soul
to feel panic and run
running through the forests of my life
floating on forgotten memories
it is hunting me again
takes my breath, swallows any sound
5. Rest
...and sleep half the day
when the drugs have gone away
wake up and lazily fill the rest of the day
just to recognize the pain
and again end up with narcotics in veins
that's the way it goes, decay of former hopes
- decay of life
the sands of time will make me disappear
thrown up memories make their way through the clouds of my consciousness
the empty spot at the wall in front of me
makes changes vanish in the sand
and after all makes nothing come undone
run, everyday
reaching goals along the way,
that others yearn for
there is no real movement but they don't see while going on
until energy is drained, hasty life is taken towards end
enjoy peace after breakdown, while the traces of pain and scraps of memories weaken, die away.
another circle has closed, nightmares of emotional impression fade in fragile stability.
another day of running away, one of these beginnings with the end already known.
another scar, a mark on the way left behind.
another dawn, the sun warming only the surface.
the empty spot at the wall in front of me
makes changes vanish in the sand
and after all makes nothing come undone
back in the silence of isolation
the effort's worth a question rather than conviction
all reasons crumble, in a raging commotion passions turn to dust
as i recognize i am still myself. just myself.
6. Circles
there is a shadow floating over me
growing to a vast crimson cloud
meanings are blurred
calm and harm in disorder
my eyes blinded for what is real
noone there to drag me out of here
noone there to stop me from drowning
the circle of fear
is always present
no escape from my inner emptiness
forever running in circles
---away from myself
i hear your voice in the distance
the fire drags me further down the spiral,
tears a silent scream out of me
crawling up and down the walls
of my cold and empty room
the ceiling collapses on me
a place full of mirrors
pitiless reflecting my deficiency
chasing my own tail
my own murderer
death means exit
-death means fear
just fade into oblivion
the circle of fear
is always present
no escape from my inner emptiness
forever running in circles
---away from myself
i hear your voice in the distance
the fire drags me further down the spiral,
tears a silent scream out of me
a paranoid knife
teaching me with pain
hurting me with fear
killing me with memories
i will eat myself alive
devoured by my fear
spit out my inside
the circle of fear
is always present
no escape from my inner emptiness
forever running in circles
---away from myself
i hear your voice in the distance
the fire drags me further down the spiral,
tears a silent scream out of me
7. Chaos
My chaos is the battlefield of mental war.
the enemies: myself and everyone else.
I feel drawn out, them to slaughter.
disdain, the urge for undermination, unseen i proceed.
the farther i get the more i'm drained.
every victory leaves me defeated
suffering myself
where's my ally to defy this cursed me?
turn the lights out in the dusk, snuff the last glow of my candle.
enforce my blackness, till all of me has turned to hate
no one is here, the panic reaching out and schizophrenic motivations hauling me
this world is like a horror vision
distorted beings in it
produced by conversion error,
produced by my own mind.
bleakness will never end,
abandonment in my escape weighted down by calamity.
i will defy, strengthen the mental fortress,
derive what threatens me
find protection in emotional death.
descent continues
grinds me down to nothing
no space, constricted, unable to move
cling to the last reasons
strive against losing faith in them
tormented by uncontrolled fear
suffering myself
where's my ally to defy this cursed me?
turn the lights out in the dusk, snuff the last glow of my candle.
enforce my blackness, till all of me has turned to hate
happiness so quickly gone
moments seem a million years ago
the truth hurts, perception is always something wrong
cut short my way, kill the future
8. Storm (Eerie Sphere pt.II)
calm in my mind, at last, only for some moments,
admiring the elements raging around me
the rain is heavy, turns the nocturnal world to hazy dark grey
wind lashes the scenery around my small
protective shell
the storm makes driving a flight
contentment comes as death seems present in wrathful nature
stormy days, huge projection of the turmoil inside my head
clean the earth of the violating order
and ease my soul
travelling home through purified air,
street signs shining plainly
like these thoughts arising in isolation.
parts of circle
exploding in life i was
when trying to rebuild the ruins.
inundated they would be, first panical hyperactivity now gone
life has been drawn out and replaced connections fade as hope does
leaving me exposed
no air to call for help left
proceed in functions
past is stronger than before
emptiness and pain
distorted scenes, pictures from the past
flashing in a new surge of the storm.
rage arises, the calm is gone
stormy days, huge projection of the turmoil inside my head
clean the earth of the violating order
and ease my soul
crawling towards a light that may crumble every second
the circle closes again thinner than any time before
cognition grown to a higher level of understanding a small part
one more circle to show
futility
time has grown old, sinister dreadful thoughts,
awful conflict between loathing and compassion.
ready for seclusion, the highway sounds distantly through frozen air.
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