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DESDEMONA LYRICS
"Look For Yourself" (2004)
1. I Am the Mirror
2. Look For Yourself
3. Starvkirken
4. Nuntius Daiboll
5. Golden Cage
6. Summon My Name
7. The Invocation
8. The Rage Inside My Heart
9. Unforgiving Soul
10. Love and Pride
1. I Am the Mirror
I Am The Mirror
Instrumental
2. Look For Yourself
Look For Yourself
Lurking in the shadows
In this foggy night
When I turn around the corner
He´s always there in sight
Figure dressed in black
Wearing a thick cloak
His fade is hidden by a hood
The night it seems to soak
Nine days I´ve got followed him
Nine days my life´s been haunted
Does he mean any harn to me?
What am I to fear?
"Look for yourself", says the man in black
"Look for yourself, shadows hide your past"
What do these words mean? Meaning so unclear
May it be my life is not what I´ve always thought?
This thing can´t go on
Am I getting insane?
If I am to get hurt
At least I will know his name
So tonight I´ll wait for him
Shall I live or die
I´ll win my fears and face the man
Whether it is talk or fight
All these days you´ve keep following me
All these days you´ve been haunting me
I am not afraid no more
What do you want from me?
"Look for yourself", says the man in black
"Look for yourself, shadows hide your past"
What do these words mean? Meaning so unclear
May it be my life is not what I´ve always thought?
All my life I´ve left like something was missing
All my life I´ve thought something was untrue
3. Starvkirken
Starvkirken
In the far and cold land of Norway
Up there in the rainy Bergen town
This is where my family came from
This is where my roots have been planted
The local church has got a big archive
With the names and the stories of the families
I went there to meet the local cleric
I asked him to help me look for myself
I went there to meet the local cleric
I asked him to help me look for myself
"I am sorry son, but no Nidhugsen family
Left for England twenty nine years ago
And no Michael Nidhugsen has been baptized here
About that many years ago"
I feel so confused now
It seems my identity has been erased
I feel so helpless now
In the land I thought it was my own
I feel so selfless now
Where should I go searching for truth?
I feel so confused now
It seems my identity has been erased
I am walking along the harbour
Through the old wooden houses of the Brygge
All of sudden, there is again
My mysterious persecutor in black
I stop and look at him in fright
Why did he follow me this far?
"You better go looking for yourself
Outside the walls of this town"
So out I walked, following my instinct
Hearing a call with my mind´s ears
I reached a wood and there I found
The old Fantoft wodden church
I stepped inside and I fell on my knees
Looking at the altar, a vision had I
My spirit is singing
My joy is arising
The texture of my dress
Is made of pure light
With all the happy souls
Gathered around me
All along we´re singing
Cheering for his glory
4. Nuntius Daiboll
Nuntius Daiboli
"You have behaved yourself
Isn´t something starting to be clear?
But what you´ve just found out is not enough
Move to Italy, and somebody there will give you good advice"
Hearing the sound of my own steps
Echoing through the streets of this baroque town
Through these elegant buildings in this night
I am a lonely wanderer with no direction
That old building seems to be calling for me
So I find my way inside of it
A little wooden door leads to its cellar
From the bottom of the stairs, a dim light shines
Dressed in black and chanting
Around a fleshly altar standing
Candles burning, they take my conscience away
I am the night that flows in you
The whisperer in the darkness
Free t oroam wild, hunting for souls
Revelling in the flames and the sreams
The demon awaken, my presence revealed
The congregation is coming to me
Better run as hell, look for a way out
Finding salvation up there in the streets
I am the night that flows in you
The whisperer in the darkness
Free t oroam wild, hunting for souls
Revelling in the flames and the sreams
I am the night you´ll come to fear
Rejoicing in rape and murder
Feels so good while my nails scratch your flesh
Making your soul and mine unite
The diabolus is he
And his Nuntius am I
5. Golden Cage
Golden Cage
This flesh that burdens you´s not one of my faults
As a matter of fact, my kind can´t have any
Pure light is the texture of the cloth I wear
And together we sing of Heaven´s glory
We follow every step you take, to protect your life
And every pain that hurts you we try to soothe
Guarding and protecting all God´s creatures is our mission
And our hearts never feel anger or grief that grip and rot at heart
Your human hearts
My existence is a demostration
of perfection and purity
All the emanations of the love that gives us life
Are the holy light we reflect on you
The meaning of my life is the meaning
Of the endless love that gives me life
The meaning of all the people´s life
Is a challenge they have to face everyday
Maybe there is something I am missing, something I am deprived of
Is my absence of desires a subtle chain to hold me down?
Light as air, pure as sky
Am I imprisioned in a golden cage?
Free to be, forced to be free
A mighty power keeps me trapped here
6. Summon My Name
Summon My Name
Gloria in excelsis Deo
And lust to those who rejoice on earth
It is better ruling in hell
Than bowing your head in heaven
Power flowing in my veins like liquid fire
Desperate affirmation of the self
Proud, strong and tall I stand on my own
No one can tell me how to behave
Only my image to glorify
No use in wasting your love on ingrates
Just say the words and I´ll be there
Smell the incense, let me smell the blood
Inside the unholly circle we´ll be one
Desperate affirmation of the self
Proud, strong and tall I stand on my own
No one can tell me how to behave
Only my image to glorify
Summon my name, eternal delight
Summon my name, Fulfil your desires
Our flesh and blood will be as one
All our blackneed souls will be as one
Am I the black messenger of my rage?
Am I asserting my identity?
I feel like everybody´s using me
Just a puppet in the hands of a twisted master
Desperate affirmation of the self
Proud, strong and tall I stand on my own
No one can tell me how to behave
Only my image to glorify
Summon my name, eternal delight
Summon my name, Fulfil your desires
Our flesh and blood will be as one
All our blackneed souls will be as one
7. The Invocation
The Invocation
Aion, Telegram, Vaycheon, Stimulation, Expares
Retragammaton, Oryaran, Irion, Esytion, Extion
Ergona, Onera, Brasim, Maya, Messias, Soter
Emanuel, Sabaot, Adoné, ti adoro e invoco
8. The Rage Inside My Heart
The Rage Inside My Heart
I´ve just found out that I am able to love
I´ve understood I´m afraid, I can´t help it
All these years I spent to make up my identity, were they useful?
All I know, I understand now who I am
Forgiveness, the strengh to go on
Every moment spent to find a solution
Ther is no way out, I´m tied to my energy and to what I know
The heavens expect from me
I don´t know how long I´ll be strong
I love myself, I hate them, I´m always provoked
Blamed, I´m paying for a wrong decision
I´ll leave them to their destiny
Can I ever kill them?
No more people around me, anybody could overwhelm me
I need people around me, I thought they were my friends
But they turned their backs on me
The rage inside my heart gives me no peace anymore
The fear of being nobody kills me
Another myself is waiting for me
The rage inside my heart can destroy you unmercifully
Delusion, the road I walk on
Ancient fathers, what am I blamed for?
Who set my runes in such an unfavourable manner?
What guilt has stained
My immortal soul in the beginning of times?
All these people around me, I´ll get in a cage to show them I am free
Love and pride rest inside me, and I can set my other self free
The rage inside my heart gives me no peace anymore
The fear of being nobody kills me
Another myself is waiting for me
The rage inside my heart can destroy you unmercifully
9. Unforgiving Soul
Unforgiving Soul
It is all so clear now
That I decied I wanted to be a man
Not inmortal, I won´t cheer for his glory
Or be the black messenger of my rage
When I see the man in black again
His face is a mask of delight and joy
"My name is Adoné, the only angel
Who is still your friend"
"But an unforgiving soul is the reason
Why you forgot your identity and your name
You can join the infernal swarm, but if you leave
You´ll never be forgiven by an unforgiving soul"
"I followed all your steps
Since the day that you were born again
For your third and last time
As the mortal Michael Nidhugsen"
"I gave all the money you needed
To pay for the orphanage and the school
´Cause even if I doubt you´ll ever come back
This is what a guardian angel´s for"
"But an unforgiving soul is the reason
Why you forgot your identity and your name
You can join the infernal swarm, but if you leave
You´ll never be forgiven by an unforgiving soul"
It has been a deed of love
It has been a deed of pride
The day I decided that I wanted
My dreams to be made of flesh and blood
Turning my back to heaven and hell
To find a way which was my own
If all knowledge comes fro mthe lord
May it be that I am the lord of myself?
If nobody asserts themselves with impiety
And the roots of the righteous will never moved
Have I planted the roots for a higher tree to grow?
10. Love and Pride
Love And Pride
The life I´ve got this time is mine
No claws or feathers on my wings
I´ve changed my skin one last time
Love and pride were the springs
Walking in the shadows
I can feel the night
It´s got no more dangers for me
´Cause the danger was me
This flesh has started burdening me
A body to carry my spirit around
My spirit does no longer sing
´Cause the song used to be me
Will you let me, won´t you let me
Be the voice that speaks in you
Put a drop of black, add a hint of white
The picture´s now complete
Will you let me, won´t you let me
Be the voice that whispers in you
Paint your heart black, stain your soul white
I look in the mirror, what I see is myself
An ark of flesh to acknowledge my name
Nevermore torn between above and below
After a fight between love and pride
All the time my spirit is singing
While I whisper in the darkness
Light as air, eternal delight
All is finally in me as one
I´ll face the challenge to live every day
I will dream of myself everyday
So that all of my dreams
Can be made of flesh and blood
Will you let me, won´t you let me
Be the voice that speaks in you
Put a drop of black, add a hint of white
The picture´s now complete
Will you let me, won´t you let me
Be the voice that whispers in you
Paint your heart black, stain your soul white
I look in the mirror, what I see is myself
An ark of flesh to acknowledge my name
Nevermore torn between above and below
After a fight between love and pride
The sun is my father
The moon is my mother
I will get inside their brown of darkness
And find out the secret rhythm
Crying like an animal
Dancing ´till dawn
And forgetting my mortal name
The sun is my father
The moon is my mother
When I am their son again
I will did you all farewell
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