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DECEMBER'S COLD WINTER LYRICS
"Decaying Recollections" (2004)
1. Decaying Recollections
2. The Alabaster Corpse
3. Amanita Muscaria
4. Abhorrence Eternal
5. Ignoto Deo
6. Child of Delusion
7. A Portrait of Self Mutilation
8. Rites of Departure (instrumental)
1. Decaying Recollections
2. The Alabaster Corpse
I awoke damning the light and knowing that I'm all alone
the darkened room's silver light,
('tis) a darkness so subtle
I (can) still see
The ghosts of all that has passed and come from our one tryst
The burrow's humid and warm
but the cold is so deep in my bones
My naked skin is peeling
attempting to shed what was once the mark of your scent on my flesh
Revolting is this feeling
A haunting I cannot embrace
nor escape from at all...
Such emptiness!
Alone I stand and heaving
adrift on a sea of inadequate foam
covering all (and) corroding me
I can't stand my sight
I must seek the night
bury my damned feelings I must kill my illusions,
I... I hope for burning skies rather than this pain!
Sanity's such a joke when one is broken!
Feelings are such a drag,
a bastard-god's little token!
I am no one at all!
Don't bother to know me!
A soiled mangle of lies...
I scream but nobody listens!
Embracing my deepest fears…
And I' m left with nothing!
My words are spent in a dream
for one that doesn't believe them...
(I'm) raping the love of my once giving soul!
if only light would not make you blind
then maybe I could know you!
if only I could bring down the sky
and make the seas tempestuous! ...
I am damned and rotten inside
this dreadful feeling must die
A tower of utmost gut wrenching pain
My exterior is so pale and stale
eyes so dead no one can tell what I think or feel
It's all lies!
See the crafted smiles I can display
Fooling all, for none can see
But nobody knows what it's like inside!
I self-exiled of all human touch
Estranged from the warmth I had sought
breaking the heavens and crumbling inside ...
Who answers for my pain???
All is done in vain???
O, I should've run from this place...
Could not stand your face
to behold nevermore the defining grace
O, I plead...
Cannot (they) see what it brings in me!?
Let the frost enter my veins for my sense is lost
Could not face my own gaze as I saw (it) in yours
Taste my tears!
Know my pain!
Nothing is the same!
Will not once see through my eyes and seek my embrace!
...fill this empty space...
3. Amanita Muscaria
Profane mists of elder days
cloud my frozen veins
visions of strange planes
feed my fetid state
with horrid sights,
raping my mind and soul
Insane! The lake is roaming with nymphs
sadistic array of vicious mistfolk
harrassing my deathbed
underlings of underdarkness calling
Small ones rip open my dreams
dancing to the tune of elven witchcraft
bringing to my tree
the ruin of dreadsworn fools.
Augean lore portents the uprise
ashen grey, my eyes now fester
rotting faeries fall around me
opal virgins let their waters…
…Soak my festering wounds
and wet my ardent tongue,
Hark!
Virulent and pristine,
the white clad savage dryads.
my legs astride,
the dark queen mounts me,
pulling my flesh from me
Throat ablaze
my body quickens
rank worms exit my rotting phallus
Out of my limbs sprout winged things
extracted from me the seed of the lake
chrysalis shamed
I'm full of taint
my bowels take flight and ravage the night
Augean lore portents the upraise
ashen grey, my eyes now fester
rotting faeries fall around me
opal virgins let their waters dry
Seep through the window sill
fog of toxic breath
to tear my rot apart…
My vision is fed a new world
my sentience is drowned in the pools
as dawn wakes the soil on which i now rest my truth awakes
4. Abhorrence Eternal
Ah, I rise and I fall within this wasted man shell
oh, what am I to do!? (I' m) not alright
the dam might burst at any moment
or, what am I to do with all these goddamn feelings
I am drowned in a pool of my own bile...
and my bleeding... it means nothing?
So they're laughing at me
am I just so distorted?
or perhaps it's the eye that quivers still
from all the blood it has begotten
and if only they knew that "she's the one that's twisted,
and if they heard...
Chorus 1:
How I simper, tear and shiver would they have some pity for me?
or would they just point their fingers,
throw the stones (and) so end my misery.
Truth be toid, I never like my own reflection...
found so loathsome
If I gave a damn about myself
I' d cut my loss and heal my wounds
What am I to do? I still bleed for you.
What am I to you? I am hollow through.
I cry out for some respite
but all I hear is my own voice.
I feel so cold and empty
I'll set my self on fire at times
I'd pry out my own eyes
if darkness could give me some solace
You'd squeal out when I need to take out my anger on my face.
It's all so wrong
It takes so long
Chorus 2:
Should there be, really, gods in heaven?
would they not see it fit to destroy me?
And if perhaps there might be justice,
burn out the cancer that lives inside us
This hateful thing we call emotion...
such dreams, they plague me
Am I just crazy?
And if I could would I ignite them...
No, I' m not like that...
Oh, I' m not like that.
Chorus 1
Chorus 2
What am I to do?
Words, they just fall through
What are you to me?
Blunt atrocity
5. Ignoto Deo
In the dead hours of night
sweating verses out of spite
madness wispers in my ear
into bitterness I steer
unknown hatred from within
Chains of reason wearing thin
pools of darkness 'fore my eyes.
smile whilst something in me dies
Lightning in the air
time deforming
Torn in disrepair
blood is curdling
doubt and disbelief, it has found me
bedlam is the key
Can't conceive it
Singing at god's cradle
as he slept (came the) dark fable
Spill my bile over the furnace
in my mind, open the gate
In my eyes...
See the one shrouded in blankness
In his mind, beckoning doomsday
In his eyes...
Spill my flesh over the furnace.
What is coming over me?
Satire of necrology
lost for pain in all it's glory
"widdershins" a dying story
most disturbing of all dreams
world is rotting at the seams
tap into the undivided
dream his face and be ignited
Seek his eyes and you'll be blinded
There!
The root of his anatomy
the light cannot pierce him at all
the darkness is broken in him
follow his unending path
and lose yourself in the tides of time
that he has broken to make all anew
If I gave you sin
the worst within
Would you want it?
Would you take it from me?
If I gave you love
come from above
you would take it
and then worship till death
If it were real
How would I feel?
Would I worship it
or turn my back on it?
For the pain the world can bear is real
Would you suffer it to there with him?
Wouldn't it be great if this fancy of mine were true?
Like so many creeds it simply falls through
the gods created man...
and man returned the favor?
The pain I feel is real
Where is the one you favor?
The pain you feel is real
Who would smite your tormentor?
The pain I feel is real
Where is your precious savior?
The pain we feel is real
Why won't they hear our prayers?
If only it were real
If only I could feel
6. Child of Delusion
Heal me, heal me inside
I'm burning slowly, burning to nothing
Raise me, raise me with words of dire anguish
(then) lull to darkness
Cleanse me, cleanse me from all my broken thoughts
And bring me enlightenment
Heal me. within this shell of dissent; limp as if lifeless
Chorus 1:
(I'm) Born of folly into despair
I am the child of a lesser god
Naught but lies and pain will follow
I am the child of a lesser god
all that love me shall be broken
I am the child of a lesser god
...child of a lesser god.
In me all is laid waste by my lies
in these eyes of dead-sight hate is ripe
open up the trove of alibies
In my wake all is dead, all is prone for decay
Yet I strive to become something unlike the dead
as I stride to the end damned inertia awakes
Chorus 2:
...Lapsus of pain
I am not one to be taken lightly
I am dust, decay and bleak dismay
a true fallen one
...Eternal strain
I am not one to be taken lightly
I am dust, decay and bleak dismay
a true fallen one
Chorus 2
Chorus 3:
(I'm) born of folly into despair
I am the child of a lesser god
oh, so empty
(I'm) Sore and broken
...vilifying my own image in the eyes of fate
...A most pitiful fool
unusually cruel and bent on disaster
blight of words so untrue, they cut you right through...
no blade is faster
so my exploits will grow my webbing unfolds and woe is my master.
I'm wretched and wrong,
dare touch me when wont on
maddening laughter
chains of sordidness move
on rivers of grue and harbor disaster.
seek through endless unrest the fondest caress
and know vileness' truest form
I am a worm.
7. A Portrait of Self Mutilation
Ah, so little time to think of things fleeting
and all that has befallen my core
A gemot of my thoughts demanding audience
treading ancient paths I bemuse
How can darkness be so deep and light so scarce?
A brooding doctrine so absurd!
Leave it, it's my pain!
It's all I know
Hands are bleeding
anger's seething
pointless rearing
I'm conceiving rot
A black lump for a heart, fraught with disdain
the semblance of a life fermented in pain!
Oblivion calling, stark
I'm full of envy, malice, dead and callous,
breeding, brewing, festering, ravenous, hate!
In this wretched passing through life I cannot abide
the broken mirrors of my soul…
Salvation will extol in shattered remnants of the past...
A shard of sharpened glass
to make my carvings come a-fresh a canvas of flesh!
Feed her!
Won't you feed her!
Feed my unfortunate soul!
Bleed her!
Won't you bleed her!
Bleed her, my soul is a hoax!
Leave it, it's my pain!
It's all I know
8. Rites of Departure (instrumental)
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