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Hating Again...

"Hating Again..." (1998 Demo)

1. The Time
2. ...Or Hell... Or Dream
3. With A Grief
4. The Merciful
5. Sweet Lies
6. The Day... Again
7. Salvation / I Hate Again
8. The Expressing
9. What's A Fuck

1. The Time

Tears unexpected from unholy eyes.
World's hate gifts, sphasms of my soul.
When beauty one crosses my road,
Illness of her words rapes my senses.

Makers of time didn't correct ideas.
Hours of old increase my wealth.
Unobidient for god, when lady circulates,
Against orders I will fly again.

Hurt me depply
And hear my laughter.
From my blood won't grow your child.
Hurt me deeply
And look madnessly.
Angel of fall keeps poison from me.
So hurt...

2. ...Or Hell... Or Dream

... Or hell... Not promissed land Earth seems to be...
... Or dream... Your nightmares speak in wild tongue...

Religion led them
To the one they called father.
And the one took death,
The gift of love.
Blassed were the words
And the other - condemned.
They knew all promises
And comming punishments.

Or it is a dream
Flowing down through hands , endless,
Or it is red hell,
Their souls punished as me.
A sin polluted virginity,
Let the demons to tear spirits.

... Or hell... Not promissed land Earth seems to be...
... Or dream... your nightmares talk to you...

Now my eye is comprising,
My fingers are touching,
From the sunrise
To death far avay.
And I can't believe
In riches, he gave me.
Behind integrity closed
The gate of heaven... or hell...
Or it is a dream
Flowing down through hands, endless,
Or it is red hell,
Their souls punished as me,
Sleep has tortured me,
Let the day to come...

3. With A Grief

In worlds the blind's appeared through eras.
Wandered the smooth paths.
Was proud of direction, he chose,
Forgot hands giving energy.
Worshiped gods, he did not know.
Condemned condemneds, unhasitating.
And procreated calmly ,
Not able to feel the difference.
Whose was the happiness?

Through eras the other's appeared in worlds.
Wandered humiliation.
Thinking the way, if precious is,
Rising from own energy.
Away from gods, away from laws,
Was condemned by blinds, unhasitating.
Tasted all sins and looked for life.
Was loved only by pain.
Whose was the happiness?
Drowned in the flood
Of pulled out eyes,
I fuck happines... with a grief...

4. The Merciful

He is crossed,
Follow in blood,
So holy blood,
Follow, follow.
I do not feel this love
That flows down from above.
To love everybody is
Like loving no one.
The omniscent knows nothing
When i tremble with fear.
And this fear comes from the world,
And the world was created.
The righteous signs he with bible,
Then kills in the name of god,
At the church'es gates.
Will the second become my name?
This is not the god,
Who lives inside me,
Who leads my hand,
Who will kill me...
... In a minute...
... But I need him...
He is crossed,
Follow him, blind.
In innocent blood.
I curse you!

5. Sweet Lies

I like touch. I like warmth. I like wet.
I live here. I die there. I live there.
The told word. Another time. The one word.
I feed me. I taste her. I vivity.

I am cruel. I am close. I am me.
Untold news. The distance. The time.
I heal sorrow. I lead cry. I lead smile.
I can kill. I can rape. I must feel.

One night. One day. Sea of hours.
I pretend. I love me. I hate me.
Learning. Hasitation. Understanding.
Is coming? Did it come? Will I leave?

Use me. Drink me. Enjoy.
The question. The ask. Without.
Don't look. Don't hear. Just feel.
And die. And die. Slowly.

Sweet lies.
My truth.

6. The Day... Again

I wanna power to kill my brain.
I wanna faith I could not exist.
Can I look for the painless traces?
Do I want to?..
Each dawn revives machine.
Each breath gives it strength.
Someone has closed two lives.
In one feeling structure.

It sees warmth in a hand's reach.
It does't love persons, just warmth.
It can't choose, the second hurts,
Though wisdom remains in candour.

It drowns nearness in words.
And still in war, and still in...
And always. Will always come?
But always lost vwith fear.

O who made them alive,
Just to outlive their lives.
The same, who created machine.
Different ideas. Insane.

I wanna power to kill my brain.
I'm waiting for not-existing.
Let light-hearted dusk to come.

7. Salvation / I Hate Again

I could kill all people
For their illimitable stupidity,
Except this few,
Who know without words
And don't waste them, aimlesly.
The rest I could kill
And spit on their corpses.
I could... Just one...
... Hateing again...

I hate again.
A thought was born in closed world of me.
She has created begining.
So different touch of the same part.
Hated. Unwanted. Forgotten.
... Like an importunate god,
Screaming at gates,
Where are no crosses.
Where's only unknown...

So frail form, so defenseless.
Surrounded by creatures,
Faces from nowhere.
Hated. Unwanted. Eternal.
... Now leave me, my angel...
This thought I will foster.
I'll give you owed tenderness.
Spurn me. Try to uderstand me.
Hate. Love. Torture.
... Like an importunate god,
I'm kneeling at gates,
Where waiting gives relief,
Or kills benevolently...
Hated has to be,
Who wants hate as well.
They squat at my feet.
They howl under my power.
I hate them! I kill and love.
... Now leave me, my angel...

8. The Expressing

Why do you desire words?
Why do you want me to talk?
Do you hear and understand?
Or my voice lulls your feelings...
Then I bear,
Then I hate,
Then I live,
Then I die...
Why do you expect wisdom?
Too little words to tell.
Too little meanings to express.
No strenght to relieve such a...
Nearness, touch the nearness.
Warmth of the near body
Flowing on skin gently.
Warmth from depths of mind.
Sympathy in warm, black iris.
Kiss on trembled lips,
Imbibing tear from check in fever.
Don't you know...

9. What's A Fuck


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