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ASHES YOU LEAVE LYRICS

Desperate Existence

"Desperate Existence" (1999)

1. A Wish
2. Never Again Alone in the Dark
3. Desperate Existence
4. Et Vidi Solem Evanere
5. Momentary Eclipse of Hope
6. Searching for Artificial Happiness
7. Shadow of Somebody Else's Being
8. Outro







1. A Wish

I don't want you to be
The brief candle of my darkness
Neither do I want you to be
The short light of the dawn
While coming down on my shoulders
I just want you to be
My eternal light
For the rest of my temporary life




2. Never Again Alone in the Dark

Far away from them
In a room so deep
With my soul in my throat
The last few tears I weep
I cry to darkest mind
As leave in silence fall
Alone I will perish
Forgotten in this hole

Why can't I grow wings
To merge with clouds as one
Why can't I be as others
Unshamed to hail the sun
I cannot love this darkness
But in darkness I will fall
Helpless as a child
By dark swallowed whole

Feelings forever lost
Thoughts so dark and old
Blackness grasps my heart
In a deadly icy hold
Locked alone in a world of mine
Being fed by their poisoned lies

Despair
Unspoken lives of leaves
Unspoken lives of men
Never again alone in the dark




3. Desperate Existence

Echoing the sound of my
Inhaling the concrete
Anguish takes me
is possessing me
In my head I can see
Making love of gray constructions
Of cemental flesh
Carnal constellations shine
In god's universe of innocence

River of my sorrow runs
Through this universe of nonsense
It's running bringing blood
Across my desperate existence
I will drown in its waters
I will die being infinity

When the stars will colour
This nocturnal silence
When the moonlight will embrace
This ancient night
My spirit will
Wander through eternity
Eyes of time will see
Deep inside of our misery




4. Et Vidi Solem Evanere

Aeva perdita sunt.




5. Momentary Eclipse of Hope

I saw you crowned as sun
I touched your burning hand
And looked at the sky
Towards your greedy shine
I thought you were a god
On the solar throne
But you have just
burned my eyes

I worship your gilded sky
Where the clouds in grief are crying
Blood and the rain on my hands
On my blind eyes
Lakes sacrifice their silent waters
To glorify your beauty
In my mouth taste of blood
A taste of godless pain
Are you a God, are you
human suffering
Crucified on our faith?

Are you a God, are you human suffering
That brings us the pain?
In gardens of his promised paradise
We are desperately searching for
immortality
Prisoners of our blindness
My mouth is full of blood
I am swallowing desperation with
Holy forgiveness
I can't stand this pain
I am crying my eyes on my hands




6. Searching for Artificial Happiness

I am burning for you, my life
Like a fire without the flames
I am smiling to you, my love
Like snow to the glowing sun

While sunrise sheds its golden blood
On fields of our hope
Colour of sorrow is our religion
We dream of our desired lover - death
The wind glorifies rusting leaves
Infinite time shines upon our hope
We are shadows of our own
Light of fire

Guide me beyond my conscience
Death, take me into your life




7. Shadow of Somebody Else's Being

I want to be free,
Free as a whore
Attractive as a saint
Unique but finally beaten

What is my hidden temper
Is it just a shadow of somebody's else being?

Is my existence just the
Same old clocking of imaginary time?

Can't somebody understand
My flesh as I can't reach my soul?




8. Outro

 


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