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ASHEN MORTALITY LYRICS
"Sleepless Remorse" (1996)
1. Yesterday's Gone
2. Faded Tapestry
3. Separation
4. Sleepless Remorse
5. Cast the First Stone
6. The Darkest of Nights
7. Imprisoned
1. Yesterday's Gone
Can you stay my children with me
Lost in the past these memories I see
Everyone I used to know
I've seen them all taken they each had to go
You're all I have now I am old
The world outside so bitter cold so bitter cold
Running in fields in summers distant haze
I look back to childhood's long peaceful days
Times in youth where I can never return
I remember so clearly yet at a distance I yearn
If only to step back for a time
To feel but one of the things that I thought would always be mine always be mine
I remember grandmother's face
As she recalled her younger days
She knew deep down as she spoke them to me
Alone in these memories no-one could see
Or feel with her the things she felt
The past seemed so cold my children I feared growing old I feared growing old
Can you stay my children with me
Lost in the past these memories I see
Everyone I used to know
I've seen them all taken they each had to go they had to die
Each time you leave I wish you could stay
Yesterday's gone but I still have today
If tomorrow I leave here and you see me no more
Remember I loved you as you close one more door
Each time you leave I wish you could stay
Yesterday's gone but I still have today
If tomorrow I leave here and you see me no more
Remember I loved you as you close one more door
Yesterday's gone
You're all I have now I am old
The world outside so bitter cold
2. Faded Tapestry
The haunting distance of the past
The closing in of final days
Fear uncertain life beyond
As woven colours fade to grey
A faded tapestry of memories
Hangs within a lonely mind
Washed to grey by painful tears
Tarnished by the empty years
The haunting distance of the past
The closing in of final days
Fear uncertain life beyond
As woven colours fade to grey
Now can someone as they die
Find hope from words taught as a child
Where once these thoughts of tainted past
Wrought sadness never meant to last
The haunting distance of the past
The closing in of final days
Fear uncertain life beyond
As woven colours fade to grey
And now can someone as they die
Find hope from words taught as a child
Where once these thoughts of tainted past
Wrought sadness never meant to last
Human fragile reaching high
At last the truth elusive found
For this weak body death is nigh
Yet souls believing never die
The haunting distance of the past
The closing in of final days
Fear uncertain life beyond
As woven colours fade to grey
3. Separation
Try to survive as you shed many more tears
Darkness once again no refrain
Endless fears
Within your mind still aware
Of the truth and the lies
Spirit willing flesh weak
Again innocence dies
The separation
Crying God leave me
I pray you'll realise
Where many have cried
The once forsaken old man that drove you insane
Has seized you once more and holds you again
The things you once loved
Are sins you've since hated
Where do you turn when you know you're falling
Where can you escape from the pain of failing
It seems as you wake left alone no one hears when you cry
You find you've been used with no one
In which to confide
The separation
Crying God leave me
I pray you'll realise
Where many have cried
The once forsaken old man that drove you insane
Has seized you once more and holds you again
The things you once loved
Are sins you've since hated
But still you return you return
Where can you go where he can't see you
He knows how you fail but still never leaves you
Where can you go where he'll not see you
He knows how you fail but still he believes in you
Forgiveness is real on the cross as blood flowed
He took the sins of the world perfect love shown
The cold empty feeling inside as you have denied
Your love once pure once strong
For the lamb has died
The separation
You can still return
I pray you'll realise
Where many have cried
The once forsaken old man that drove you insane
Has seized you once more and holds you again
The things you once loved
Are sins you've since hated
But still you return
4. Sleepless Remorse
They told me I would feel fine in a few days
So confused people told me it was the only way
Now all I feel is remorse
My heart aches when I think about my child
I can only imagine your face
I let you be torn away from me in disgrace
Now all around me is regrets
Every morning I wish I could hold you in my arms
Or see you sleep dream in peaceful calm
But all I have is loneliness
I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me
No-one told me I would feel like this
How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow
Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree
Does anyone else feel like me
Why do you tell me these feelings are wrong
That child was alive within me now he is gone
In a few more days will the memories leave my head
Of my child who was living who now is dead
I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me
No-one told me I would feel like this
How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow
Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree
Does anyone else feel like me
The nightmares still haunt me the sickness as I wake
The repulsion I'm feeling is too much to take
Visions of pain in sleepless night haziness
Taking my mind morbid in craziness
There is a reason for things I still feel
So much unanswered wounds unhealed
Many are the times words of comfort are spoken
But still no release is here within my reach
You can't hear me my child as I cry for you
You could have had love that now far too late
I can feel for you
I have no-one to blame but myself
I have no-one to take a share of the blame
their words bring no comfort to me
No this is not self pity
Until I die will I remain the same
God forgive me please forgive me
Forgive us all
God forgive me please forgive me
Forgive us all
God forgive me
Forgive us all
God forgive me please forgive me
Forgive us all
Forgive us
Through these tears hear my cries
Love and forgiveness I see in your eyes
My sin and misery you took in my place
Please release me by your healing grace
Lord my refuge is found in your peace
In your strength all my fears finally cease
You bring healing where darkness brought harm
I know the ones who died are resting in your arms
5. Cast the First Stone
Come now cast the first stone where you think I fell away
Accuse with your sharp tongues come judge where I strayed
Ill informed judges with hearts full of scorn
Look away in your disgrace
Seems no one is righteous no not even one mortal
Perfection escapes us
Sin is found in each one of us
No-one is yet perfected
And all flesh becomes dust
Hearts full of wisdom with Christ's love and holiness
Gentle in spirit never curse only bless
And in their example lead those who have strayed
Beckoning weak saints to return
Their lives convicting the ones who have fallen away
Perfection escapes us
Sin is found in each one of us
No-one is yet perfected
And all flesh becomes dust
Judge not lest ye be judged
Bless those who would curse you
Judge not lest ye be judgeed
Curse not lest ye be cursed
As I stoop to cast stones where others have fallen down
Accusing for weakness as though none in me were
found
An ill informed judge I with heart full of scorn
I look away in my disgrace
Teach me to be righteous for Lord you are immortal
Perfection escapes us
Sin is found in each one of us
No-one is yet perfected
And all flesh becomes dust
6. The Darkest of Nights
Cold winter frost bites my face and hands
As I fall into the darkest night as yet I have known
Mind full of memories makes it's cruel demands
How can I face another hour alone
Is there no hope for me within my misery
Pain bleeding despair
Ceaseless for so long
Many years gone
Longing for release
How can I begin again
Be near me for I am alone
As I fall into the darkest night as yet I have known
Lord be my refuge in this hour of pain
Please bring me glimpses of light through the rain
In my mind can you see black rain falls down on me
Pain bleeding despair
Ceaseless for so long
Many years gone
Longing for release
How can I begin again
I'm still feeling the pain
Longing empty within
For me to die would be release
I long to see my love again
Beloved Lord I know you still hear my cries
I am old and frail and I long to be set free
All that I loved in this life has gone
Reunite us in your arms soon in your kingdom
I can now only see death as freedom for me
Pain bleeding despair
Ceaseless for so long
Many years gone
Longing for release
How can I begin again
Pain bleeding despair
Ceaseless for so long
Many years gone
Longing for release
How can I begin again
As I face this lonely night
Am I wrong longing to leave
If it's your will for me to stay
Lead me finally through this grief
As I face this lonely night
Am I wrong longing to leave
If it's your will for me to stay
Lead me finally through this
Grief
7. Imprisoned
Impossible to know how it feels inside
Imprisoned within emptiness believing lies
All alone I still believed the truth God knows
I fail again through constant pressure
Within my mind the madness grows
In this darkness a room is a prison cell
Existing here without hope in a personal hell
In this prison cell
Aware of true potential but to have no way
Of fulfilling all these dreams now ripped up thrown away
Not to seek for symapathy but just to live
Is this another wasted day
I have no plans nothing to give
In this darkness a room is a prison cell
Existing here without hope in a personal hell
In this prison cell
Falling to the floor what have I become
Staring through resticting walls has depression won
Looking back to years long gone when hope was there
Is this the way for everyone
Or for a few is life unfair
In this darkness a room is a prison cell
Existing here without hope in a personal hell
In this prison cell
Stay with me until I see an end to the madness
I pray to thee for I can see
The four walls closing in
Stay with me until I see an end to this cold sadness
Oh be near me one day I know I'll see
The four walls falling down
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