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ANASARCA LYRICS
"Moribund" (2001)
1. Done in Our Name
2. No More
3. If Only...
4. Concrete Tomb
5. Those Who Have Eyes
6. 60 Steps
7. I Will Not Be Broken
8. A Cloud of Smoke
9. I Am
10. Signs of Life
11. Of Life and Death
1. Done in Our Name
I should have known
we'd killed him
Tuesday morning.
I woke up strangely buoyant,
whisteling a song
As when I bent
over the dictionary's c's
boldface, at the corner,
there to catch my eye,
were corpse candle, cauterize
and condemnation, cyanide
I should have known then
we'd killed him
should have sensed the
huge organism's
sly joy, cat's paw
Batting at his eye, in
the chamber, out again
cranky machinery of revenge
grinding to and fro
in the night
in our name.
One headline read "REPRIEVE"
and just a block away
another edition shouted "EXECUTED."
It was done
in our name.
All our hands
on the wheel
that sealed him
in the tomb.
All our ears
echoing with
it's metallic clang.
We all find ourselves
murderers now
participate in his death,
no - even more than that
We take part in his crime.
Others are saddened,
diminished or angry.
But once it's done
the clock has turned.
It doesn't matter
what we said.
A man, a boy, is dead.
It was done in the dark
Tuesday morning
in our name and all our hands
2. No More
Fleeting glory, purgatory
This is not a bedtime story
Holy boat, sink or float
Learn to cope
Or abandon hope
One more tale, one more child
One more mind that's created wild
One more blank stare, one more trauma
One more psycho/socio drama
One more nightmare, one more crime
One more craving, one last time
One more outcast whose blood runs cold
One more victim who won't grow old
No more torture
and no more laws
No more systematic flaws
No more rented empty cell
No more living so:..NO MORE HELL!!!!!
No more ...
One more nightmare, one more crime
One more craving, one last time
One more outcast whose blood runs cold
One more victim who won't grow old
No more torture
and no more laws
No more systematic flaws
No more rented empty cell
No more living so:..NO MORE HELL!!!!!
3. If Only...
Here I sit in my cell
Plain white, stone cold walls.
All alone with my thoughts, memories
and my regrets to keep me company.
WISHING ONLY IF . . .
Dreaming of holding my babies,
hearing their tiny voices and laughter.
Watching them grow up.
Dreaming I could see and touch
my Mom without the glass.
IF ONLY . . .
IF ONLY . . .
I HAD REACHED OUT!
Dreaming of feeling wet grass on bare feet.
The sun on my face, wind in my hair.
Watching the stars
Feeling peace, hope, happiness, and belonging
IF ONLY . . . I' D REACHED OUT!
Reality, I' m alone on DEATH ROW.
With no sense of hope, peace, or happiness.
Day in, day out, I relive my failures, regrets
And that terrible night, knowing I'm
to blame for losing my babies.
Realizing that what I dream of most
Could have been reality for me
Could have been reality for them
IF ONLY . . . I' D REACHED OUT!
Here I sit in my cell
Plain white, stone cold walls.
All alone with my thoughts, memories
and my regrets to keep me company.
WISHING ONLY IF . . .
I 'D REACHED OUT!
4. Concrete Tomb
As I sit in this cage,
I think of the outside world.
My life is not missed.
Time continues to pass as I sit in this cell.
These walls that hold me, closing in, they mock me.
They laugh at my cries.
They creep closer and closer till all I see, all I hear
Is the whispers that come from my concrete tomb.
These walls call my name, they know me, they know all.
They enfold the part of me that used to be sane,
Forever locking it away.
That part of me is now dead,
Locked away in its own concrete tomb.
But still I live, waiting for my day.
My day to go free,
or the when all I know will end.
Fate has dealt me a cruel hand.
All I have is to live or to die.
I cannot endure this hell any longer.
I beg the walls, I plead for them to let me go.
Let me go, let me out, somebody help!
My screams fall on deaf ears.
5. Those Who Have Eyes
Eight months pregnant.
Homeless crack addict
from the south side of town.
Angel All alone.
Can't decide
If to confide.
Caught in a lifestyle
for which she knows no relief.
Day after day,
Night after night,
utterly impoverished
surrounded by filth.
Depressed,
and wishing she were dead.
Low self- esteem,
only seventeen.
Been molested,
been raped,
been beaten to the ground
been molested,
been raped,
by the men that promised
to keep her safe and sound.
Low self- esteem,
only seventeen.
Forced to sell her body
and tormented soul -
Depressed,
and wishing she were dead.
Talking to her unborn child -
no one else listens to what she says.
"How long God must I suffer this way,
Please don't force me to endure another day"
Angel is pregnant -
baby, one month due.
I remember her say -
those who have eyes to see
Will see.
In what she said
I surmised
That look on her face -
with tears in her eyes.
To escape her pain
she decides life ain't worth livin'.
Angel walks into the path
of the Marta Train,
The nine forty- five.
6. 60 Steps
The man of the struggle,
In his search for solace,
He tries to focus on
and rest in the eye of the storm.
He sees no future for himself,
only an endless, empty present,
Which induces him to cry -
to cry out indignantly
about his terrible loneliness,
about the cruelty of people.
He cannot understand -
and tries to find shadows to hide his face.
Sister memory is ever present with him, torturing him with the past.
He calls to mind the best moments of his pleasant life.
The horror of such a place.
There seems to be no hope,
The pain of losing everything he loves
no death that could relieve his suffering -
Nothing could relieve his suffering
The man of the struggle,
In his search for solace,
He tries to focus on
and rest in the eye of the storm.
He sees no future for himself,
only an endless, empty present,
Which induces him to cry -
to cry out indignantly
about his terrible loneliness,
about the cruelty of people.
He cannot understand -
and soon his journey will reach the end!
7. I Will Not Be Broken
Daggers of fear
brandish my skin
I believe I'm innocent
Of this sin
The accusation
of being a coward
bounces off
my rubber mask
just a word
They try to get me
to fall apart
try to get into my heart.
They circle around me chanting
wild phrases
They mix me up inside
vast mazes
But I am not broken.
words are useless now to me
action are decisions lost at sea.
I fight with the power to heal wounds
I fight with the hope it will be over soon.
I fight with the will that unbroken win.
I fight with the dagger sticking my skin.
But I will not be broken.
Now they try to take my pride
but all my tears have chosen to hide.
I cannot weep,
I cannot lose hope,
I must fight.
I must fight through the day
I must fight into the faded night.
Daggers of fear
brandish my skin
I believe I'm innocent
Of this sin
The accusation
of being a coward
bounces off
my rubber mask
just a word
They try to get me
to fall apart
try to get into my heart.
8. A Cloud of Smoke
In the haze of darkness
I remember it like yesterday
Someone I once used to be
And then it fades away
I feel it around the corner
A thought I never had
I see it in the mirror
And the reflections make me sad
It's a smoke like no other
A scent I can not smell
A story I vaguely remember
With words I can not tell
And then like the morning
When I find myself awake
A dream that has faded gone
Was it my mistake?
But like the ripple of the waves
It fades away like mist
And so I keep on searching
For what I just might be
Looking under every rock
Until I finally will see
And in the darkness there is light
The truth becomes all clear
The words of wisdom answer me
What I seek is near
In a cave I find it
Dusty, dark, and old
The memories returning
My story can be told
Reality is fleeting
My loved ones fade away
But of that which I have seen
The memories will stay
9. I Am
I am the person who haunts your dreams
I make it so nothing is as it seems
I am the one who shatters all your illusions
I'm the one who causes your confusion
I'm the one who makes you turn on the light
When I come and scare you late at night
Is the truth finally coming through?
Staring deeper into the mirror
Have you found out that I am you ?....
10. Signs of Life
Eyes on the noose- signs of abuse
Cries for help- noone comes
Look to the skies- see only lies
Abandoned soul growing numb
I suffer::
Therefore I am
Try to hold back the flood
Nailed to a cross in the crack
At the base of the dam
How do I know I'm in love?
There's always been only one
Set of footprints in the sand
How do I know I'm alive?
How do I know I'm alone?
Generations of blood on the walls
Nothin' changes but the price
Still they ban all they can
This ain't nothin' nice
Demonic urge- storm waters surge
Buzz getting louder- trail of powder
I suffer::
Therefore I am
11. Of Life and Death
They can't see me for who I am. Are they blind
Or do they just not give a damn
When a heart bleeds, the blood congeals
Emotional wounds scar
But never truly heal
Worn and teary
Ripped asunder
Forlorn and teary
Blow me under
Undead zombies become ghosts
The road to hell's the road for most
Living to die is not living at all
Lay your burdens to rest
Inside 'The Walls'
First they take your consciousness
Next they take your breath
One final beat
Before the Reaper welcomes you to death
One more victim
One more number
Added to the pile
One final inaudible sigh
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